Bessex, Bride of Xom

This page is a Diary of a Crawler, the journal of an individual character. This page probably contains spoilers.

Bessex is a Demonspawn Chaos Knight of Xom, specializing at first in Maces & Flails. She is a reincarnating character marked by her love-fear relationship with the God of Chaos.

Prologue

Translated from High Elven

I am wracked with pains here in the furthest depths of the Dungeon, as I pen this manuscript furiously. I lay poisoned, sick with cholera from bad food and no water, and heavily wounded. It seems I will never lay my hands on the Orb of Zot, and Xom will never be appeased. It is too impossible a task. Though I have learned much in my time here, I know now that there is no magic powerful enough to pierce the veil of the furthest recesses, nor to allow one to survive the horrors and darkness.

Yet I also know that I am doomed to take up this task again and again. It is the one thing He never tires of, and He has been with us from the beginning. He corrupts us at birth, I think, or else we are somehow marked. We are doomed to be reborn again and again into His thrall, hearing His voice in the distance.

Know that you are the same as me if strange and inexplicable events seem to occur around you. Know that if you hear His voice, and are drawn to it like a moth to flame, you are Me. I am on the threshold of death, and I can hear him laughing. He knows that even if He breaks me, he can bring me back for a new round of fun, starting the whole accursed game over again.

I can't escape the Dungeon, not with all the magic my books afford me. But I can send this book back near the entrance, to warn myself in the future. I can ensure that this book reaches me, over and over again. Maybe I can warn my future selves to turn back before it is too late. It is easier, somehow, for Him to reach us down here in the dark... and even as I try furiously to escape His cycle, I can't help but feel a deep love for Him. That is the madness of all this.

If you discover this text, turn back. It his sought you out and warned you, told you who you are and why you should turn back. If that isn't enough, I don't know what will be.

~Bessex Elithandria of House Estellara

Book I: Bessie Xoland May

Translated from Common

Entry 1

Oh my goodness, what a beautifully bound book! That's what I thought when I saw this thing. Then I thought that maybe maybe there'd be more lovely treasures if I took a few more steps from the stairs, and I'm afraid I'm a bit turned around, now. That last page was a map of the ways I think I've gone, but I must have turned around somewhere. I'm going to keep listing directions back there.

Lucky that this book was full of empty pages! There was only the first page or so and I think it's in Elven. Heck if I can read it.

At least I keep finding more stuff. When I do find my way back to the surface, it's going to be loverly. I've found enough gold laying around that I'll be able to buy myself a hundred chocolates from those Southern merchants. I'm starting to hear sounds from further on, but I've got my mother's trusty mace, so I ain't worried. Am getting a bit peckish, though. Hopefully this breeze means there's another exit somewhere.

Entry 2

Those noises I heard was from a yippy little scaled thing. It was shouting in strains of common, saying, "No you again!" and "Stay 'way!"

I tried to tell it I was just looking for the way out but it started hucking these little bits of pointy wood at me. One nicked me as it whizzed past, and then he charged me with this awful nasty looking little sword. I socked him over the head with my mace and he crumpled, which is sad. He was kind of a cute little guy, if you ignore the scales and dirt. Ah well.

Rest in peace, little scaly dude.

Entry 3

There's a lot of bad things in this cave, I'm starting to reckon. I killed a bunch of the biggest bugs and rats I ever seen on account of they lunged at me. I suppose they're just looking for food, but I think they're gonna find I don't make a very fine meal. I may be plump enough, but unless you thinks a steel mace is tasty, you're gonna be sorely disappointed. A Roast of Bessie starts off with a zesty kick of mace, then moves into the body of flavour, which is also mace, and has a thorough aftertaste of mace as well.

On a more interesting note, my imaginary friend started talking to me again. When I was little I used to talk to someone who said His name was Mox. My parents thought I was touched, but I was sure Mox was real. Sometimes He'd show me things I couldn't possibly have known, mad or not. When he stopped talking to me, I think I agreed it was just my imagination, but He just spoke to me again. Maybe I am nuts, but He said, "Look, dear Bessex! I rats!" and suddenly I got a sense that there were rats a few hallways away, and when I went there, He was right.

I'll write again if anything happens. It'd be helpful to have a list of memories related to Mox's things, since sometimes the memories used to get confusin', and I'd be remembering things what ain't never happened to me. ((Xom acted and Bessie got the detect monsters effect, revealing a few rats she then slaughtered mercilessly.))

Entry 4

Ran into a few more scaly fellas. They seemed to recognize me. I've accumulated about fifty gold. I'm thinking of starting my own restaurant when I find my way back out of here.

I found a staircase, but it leads down and out. If I can't find nothing else, I may as well descend it and look for another way out. I can retrace my steps back to where I found the book, but no further.

Mox didn't say anything when I was stumbling around, looking for the exit. He just laughed at me. I hated it when He laughed, because I always felt like it was... at my expense. On the other hand, His laugh makes me feel... good, inside? It's hard to explain. Like a felt a sudden sense of importance.

I just remembered when I was a girl I think I had a crush on Him. He had the power to make me feel so loverly...

I've got to find my way out, soon, because I'm getting awful hungry.

((Xom acted and Bessie got the "You feel a sudden surge of energy" effect. She also hit level 2. Every time she levels up, she'll recall another fact about her childhood interactions with Xom.))

Entry 5

I was hungry enough to cut up and eat a rat. I didn't have any fire to cook it on. It was disgusting. Mox laughed at me again, and this time it didn't feel good. I felt this chill go down my spine. I'm starting to get REAL worried about this cave.

Entry 6

Mox decided it would be a fun game to throw fire at me. I'm not sure where it came from but I'm sure it was Him. It felt kind of good, but now I have these sore burns on my arms!

I've found some scraps of paper with nonsense words on them. They're very old and fall apart if I hold them too hard. When I looked up from one of them, though, I was standing in another place, and glowing, and there was a bunch of goblins and roaches all round me!

This place is as strange as it is dangerous. But the glow's worn off, now. I may as well move on.

Entry 7

Mox has been doing things, I think. I've been feeling hot flashes, though I may of got a fever from these lizards I've been eating. Their flesh isn't as repugnant raw. But suddenly the ground will go slick with frost or I will suddenly feel unfocused.

I think I heard Him talking. He sounded far away, but He said, "Bessie, you're getting a bit dull, stumbling around questioning things. I know you're capable of better. So come on, love! I need some entertainment!"

This was worrying. I suddenly remembered when, back in my littler years, Mox got bored. He would say, "I love you, Bessie. Let me make your life more interesting!" and for days on end weird things would happen. Usually bad things. My family always got run out of town after a few years.

I am not looking forward to seeing what he'll do. I'm trying to appease him by messin' around with these scrolls of paper, but it ain't working.

((Levelled up to three, and Xom decided Bessie was a BORING thing.))

Entry 8

Alright, some of these scrolls is definitely magic. I read one and appeared somewhere else, surrounded by scaley guys again. Another one made momma's mace glow green.

While I was fighting some scalies, Mox said, "Behold her and tremble!" and suddenly my hair was wrigglin' around and when I reached up I felt a sharp pinch. My hand's got some little punctures in 'em and it's bleeding a little. But those scalies was terrified and I threw a rock at 'em as they ran away.

I think Mox is a little less bored, now. I also think I maybe felt a kiss on my cheek? It made my heart go aflutter and I felt faint for a moment.

Also, earlier I found a cloak! It's a little short and wide, like maybe it was for a dwarf or halfling, but it's getting cold down here as I descend and I'm glad for it.

((Bessie's hair turned to snakes during an important battle, and she got the "You feel faint" message not long after. She is back to being a Beloved toy.))

Entry 9

Mox left me a gift of some darts, like you'd throw at a bullseye in a tavern. They're covered in little runes. There's a note on them that says, "To The Prettiest Girls in the World." Not sure what that's supposed to mean, but it sure is flattering.

On another note, I'm starting to get used to the taste of raw rats. They're sort of tangy, really. I always been well fed, and it'd be a shame to waste away in this here cave. I'd still kill for a loaf of bread, though.

Entry 10

I was killing rats and Mox spoke to me. He said, "Here, let me fix your pitiful body, precious!" And I felt... a sudden change. I hit the floor and the rat almost jumped on my through, but I managed to kick it away at the last second. I been feeling sick for a bit, but now I feel... more self-assured, I think? Hard to say.

I think I'm feeling better enough to get up and move on. I'll keep writing if anything else happens.

((Xom mutated Bessie, and gave her stage 1 mutation resistance. Does that stop Demonic mutations? Ugh. Part of the purpose of playing this character is so she'll mutate all over the place.))

Entry 11

I found a stick on the ground and was investigating the runes all over it when a scaly came in. Suddenly a beam jumped out of it and the scaly disappeared. I thought I'd vanished him but then these darts started hitting me out of nowhere so I guess maybe I made him invisible? Mox started laughing and just wouldn't stop.

I know the scaly is just chasing me now and these needles sting. I think they might be poison. And Mox just keeps laughing. As scared as I am, though, at least I know I made Him happy? And that makes me feel inexplicably good.

I think I must have lost the scaly by now, so I'm going to come out of hiding and go look for food.

Entry 12

I remembered somethin'. When I was little, Mox showed me how to move my hands so that candles would go out. I still got these burns from when he jumped fire at me earlier, and when I used my hands that old way, some flames jumped out! They smell like sulfur and my skin feels funny when I do it, but it's awful fearsome lookin'. I can try flinging it at anything what threatens me!

I found a ring and tried it on, but it won't come off. My pack is getting awful heavy, too.

I ain't found any food, but there's these two bottles. One's full of glowing black fluid, and I'm a little worried about tryin' it. The other is yellow and has a lot of pulpy grit swirling 'round in it. Maybe it's pee from a very sick person. But why would somebody bottle these things if they wasn't helpful? And one's glowin' so it must be magick. I'll hold onto them for now but if I get in trouble they can be a last resort.

((Bessie reached level 4 and gained the ability to throw fire. She found a cursed ring of -3 strength and her first two potions.))

Entry 13

Mox left me a pretty little flask. It's inscribed with the words "Open Me," but I pretended I didn't see that. I remember one time I found a can like this and when I opened it snakes flew out when I was expecting delicious peanuts. I figure if Mox gets antsy again maybe he'll find it entertaining if I open it.

There's orcs down here, I swear it. I been killing them left and right. I can't abide being a little hungry, and the fire trick makes me ravenous... it pulls somethin' out of me. So I tried one. Turns out Orcs is delicious.

Entry 14

As I been going further, Mox has been getting more and more excited. Which is lovely because I like him, despite everything, but also sort of terrible. Things are getting more and more surreal.

He reached out to me again and I was crippled by pain. I still feel weak, but strong enough to write. I also can't see very well anymore. My vision's gone all cloudy, which is terrifying in this dangerous situation. And... and my knees and forearms have turned black and hard. Luckily, the rest of me is as soft and lovely as ever, but I am starting to feel seriously disfigured.

Maybe He wants to make sure nobody else will touch me.

He's left me another thing, while I've been laying here, recovering. It's a deck of cards. Great. Maybe if I get bored I can play solitaire.

((Xom decided to subject her to a mutation potion effect. Blurry Vision 1, Weakness 1, Black Scales 1 and Electrical Insulation.))

Entry 15

I was near this glowing sewer grate when Mox decided to reach out and hit me. I don't know what I did wrong, but He said, "You've grown too overconfident for your meager worth!" and struck me to the floor. I didn't see Him or anything, but I know it was Him. I've felt His fists before.

Out of panic, I drank one of the bottles. Not sure which. My sight came back and I feel a little stronger, and the black spots went away. And then suddenly Mox shouted, "Let's go for a ride!" and I could feel Him grab my hand and whirl me around through impossible spaces until finally I was standing in the middle of nowhere.

He's done strange things before, but never this strange! And I can't tell if He's still mad at me. I find myself mutterring to the darkness and asking Him to forgive me, and he says, "How could I ever be mad at you, my little Bessex?" but that hardly means anything.

Entry 16

The things down here is getting scary. I just fought a living shadow who kept disappearing and reappearing. The fight took a lot out of me, but I kept flinging fire and waving my mace and eventually I think I kilt it. Spooky, though.

Suddenly all the walls turned to glass. And I didn't care. I think I may be losing my mind, but somehow the prospect is inviting instead of horrible. In any case, I'm going to find some more delicious orcs.

((Bessex defeated a phantom and Xom decided to translucify all the walls.))

Entry 17

Feeling delirious.

Moxy likes to change me. I keep telling him that if He really loves me He should love me for who I am, and He says, "But who you are is up to Me! I make all the choices. Sometimes you surprise me, darling, but I prefer to surprise YOU!"

This argument started because the rough spots came back. This time they're purple, like blood that's still in the veins. His power ran through me and I am feeling a little stronger, too, but stiff.

I should really cut my fingernails. The rough patches on my arms and shins is itchy, but when I scratch them, I draw blood.

((Bessex got mutated by Xom again. This time it was purple scales, strong but stiff, and Claws 1.))

Entry 18

Feeling more hot flashes and such. Probably has to do with the fire trick. I caught my reflection in the glass walls and I am getting so pretty! My eyes are different colors and the burns is spreading and the purply lumps have gotten all shiny like shells. The burns are turning into a pretty little pattern of swirls and twirls. Even my pointy new nails look fabulous! And my hair is such a delightful tangle.

I am a little aware that if Mox weren't hushing my thoughts I'd think I look horrible. But He must be right, right? Besides. He keeps telling me He loves me, and so His opinion is the only one that matters, right?

He reminded me about the time when I was five and we pretended to get married. He said He wasn't kidding, when He said He'd do it for real some day, and all I have to do is find his favorite ball! It's somewhere deep below. Then He'll let me come back up to the top and eat all the Orcs I want.

I think I have put on weight from eating all these Orcs. My favorite leather shirt ain't fitting right no more.

((Bessex hit level six, so I threw a memory out. She also has become Cold Resistant.))

Entry 19

Found that glowing drain again, and Mox pushed me into it. There was lots of rats and some more scalies, and one really big one. But I just kept doing the fire trick, which turned the green water into steam. I felt very powerful as I did it. Now I'm feeling real hungry, but I found some jars of liquid and some scrolls in there, and found my way back out.

That water sure tasted funny.

Mox was laughing constantly as the scalies slipped around in the water, but I think He's mad at me. He yelled, "SUFFER, FOOL!" and suddenly I felt a little sick and slow. I hate it when He's mad at me, because I can't feel His ever-present love.

Entry 20

I think Mox likes it when I eat orcs, so I've been blowing them all up! And cooking them with my fire! Which makes them taste a bit funny, like... like the taste in your mouth when you do bad things. But I like it. My armor is seriously tight, though, and I think I'll have to unbuckle the sides so I can breathe. My chest is real constricted, especially at the bustline.

Mox rewarded me, though! He left me some gold and He made me stop feeling sick. He must love me more when I eat orcs. I have to find more.

Entry 21

Got a little ahead of myself and attacked a small horde of orcs. I killed about ten of them but some of them knew magic! I had to use the papers that move me around to survive. I think Mox is mad that I didn't eat any of them, but I didn't have time! There was too many of them.

Entry 22

Was fighting a giant lizard and Mox my dear turned it into sheep. I was starving on account of being so used to orc meat, so I was glad for a leg of lamb. Still, I got to find some orcs to eat. It keeps Him amused and it keeps my belly full.

Entry 23

I'm starting to get the hang of these magic scroll things. I found a book about magic, too, and I've been reading it. It's full of spells about fire. I think Mox put it here because he likes it when I burn things, and myself accidentally, and all sorts of stuff.

Today he summoned a lot of... bad things... demons to kill me, but I teleported away. I think they're still there, but I don't know what to do about it. They sort of look like me, which was scary.

Entry 24

I finally figured out one of the spells in that book. He is very pleased. He's been hitting me lots lately but I know He loves me. I eat enough orcs for him to love me. I have found new, better leather armor and I have been wearing it because my old armor doesn't fit anymore. My belly has gotten too big and soft from all the juicy orc flesh. It hangs down over my belt, now. I feel comfortable knowing I won't starve. That must be what Mox wanted for me.

The orcs have taken to running when they see me.

Also He made me twist shape for a minute and my body distorted and ripped my old clothes, but He changed me back right away. So it wasn't even in good condition any more. I like my new clothes better. They fit well, though my belly pokes out underneath the bodice.

Entry 25

I found a whole big land of delicious orcs. Many many orcs. I've killed dozens of them and feasted in a row. Even my new bodice was getting very tight, so I loosened it to let my belly flow out. I can hear them pounding on the walls in rage, but I'm too full to fight them right now, so I'll be hiding until I can make it out to do so.

---

Book one ends here. Presumably, Bessie Xoland May was killed by the very orcs she was devouring. Or perhaps "Mox" simply grew bored with her. In any case, different handwriting picks up in the next section, detailing the exploits of what is perhaps the next incarnation of the one known as Bessex.

Book II: Abbessa Exodex

Entry 1

Well, blast.

I've read through this thing, and it doesn't look good. I'm not one for superstition, but this girl certainly has a few things in common with me. Rough childhood. Inexplicable events that seem to follow her. Affinity for Maces. She doesn't sound particularly intelligent, but our personalities are about the only difference.

She was probably also a demonspawn, though I doubt she recognized it. Personally, I was born with pink eyes, so I've always had to deal with the hatred of the ignorant common folk. But my parents always claimed we had no demonic heritage. Looking at the prologue to this, I am beginning to suspect that that could be true. Is it possible it's not my heritage that's cursed, but my very soul?

I've been hearing whispers, like that stupid Bessie was. I'm going to keep a journal of them here, in much the same way she did. I may have already lost the exit, but at least I'm better off than she was-- I've always had a clairvoyant sense of the spaces around me. If there's an escape hatch nearby, I'll know about it.