Vo, Troll of Chaos
(0.15) (Troll Chaos Knight) (by HAWKINGL3623)
(Preface: I thought I'd put together a short Diary as an experiment, both to see if I can write one of these and to see if Troll Chaos Knight is a valid build. If you want to voice your opinion, please comment.)
Introduction: Hallo! I am Vo. Vo is clever troll. Much cleverer than other trolls in village, and that for sure. This is on account uh Vo found Xom. Xom is clever people god what does cleverer things. Regardless uh what my brother said, he is better than Trog. Trog for dummies. Sometimes, Xom do strange things, but this is just because he is so clever that even I, clever troll Vo, can't fink as much as him. Anycase, Xom say: Go down the hole, Vo, cuz there's gunna be shiny stuff and lots of gobbos to eat. Den he gave me this smashy thingy of fun.
Dungeon 1: Hey, why's there mushrooms and trees all round here? Never mind, they don't look shiny or good to eat. That lizard does, so I squish it and it gets et. After the lizard, I found a noot. I et that, too. I asked Xom how I was doin', and he hit me with a fishie. It was a bull trout fishie, but I didn't get to eat it. That's one of the best parts of Xom... I can tell what sort of fish it is just by bein' hit with it. It is very clever trick. Near the noot, I found a neat pink amulet. When I put it on, I got the feelin' that it was sposed to get me to like raw meat, but I already do like it. I tried to et the amulet, but it dint taste good, so I spat it out. After dat, I ran round a corner to find two gobbos. There weres a big one, and a lil' one, and a noot, too. I hit the big one, but he weren't squished. He just got all jittery. Then he punched me, and I said ow. I had to beat up does chumps in order to escape. I kept explorin' around, and I got a paper fing what said "vunomiyloh" on it. I think its for tellin' what stuff are, but I already know what it are, because I am clever troll. Den I squished a rat, and I et it. Dat turned out ta be a trap, though. There was a couple of big jerkface hobbley gobbobleys with sticks lurkin near there, and dey had a rat, too. Dey were flimsy, though, so I squished and et them, too. Now I'm feelin' strange. Its like when I go to eat more food, my tummy says "uh-uh. No." This has never happened before. I asked Xom what in the heavens is goin' on. He tole me that I'm ill-lay-getimite, whatever dat means. So den I found some more paper, and dis paper said Luponga Frief on it. It went and made my smashy thingy more special. I tried to et a rat, but my belly said no again. Den I found some shiny fings. I found a map of dis hole. De hole is called "Lunkugobioth," apprenthly. De more you know, I guess. Squished a rat and et it, but now my tummy is sayin' "no" again. What is up with this? I found a 'bold what had a big knife, and I squished him. He had a hobbley gobbely friend though, and he went crazy when I hit him an bit me. I sure showed him, doh, heh heh. Next I foun' a bold and he had got one of dem flying fings as a pet. Den Xom noticed me and I smelled sumfin' weird. I squished de boldy and de flappy, and found some jars of blue stuff. I drinked one, and it seemed kinda like medicine. Den I found some more tellin' me what it is papers and some shiny stuff. So after dis, I foun' some green soda, and it made me move quick. Lyin' next to it was a "Crodim Vaostie" paper. I read it, and it put me somewhere else. I asked Xom what happened, and he hit me wit' an unlikely trout. Then I drank a black potion, and I felt very clever. A dagger-wielding goblin charged me, but I just explained the mysteries of the universe to it until it dropped its knife and ran away. I defeated a hobgoblin and a roach. But den duh potion wore out and I started to feel more fick, though I still real clever troll. Xom let me know dat dere was a 'bold round dah corner. Tanks, Xom, but I can handle the lil' blighter. Den I found some more bottles,and I dranked one, and den I got real strong. After, I foun' more medicine, and Xom tole me it was time to move on, so I went down some stairs.
Dungeon 2: Dere was a big fight wit some bats, some bolds, an' some gobbos, but I beat them all up. Den I found a paper what made it go all hot. Hmm...okay. I walked forward, and what should attack but a big ole' wormy. I hit de wormy twice and squished it, but my tummy tole me I couldn't et it. Maybe dis is de "Full" fing what I've been hearin' bout. Den I got a ring fing what makes me stronk. Yay! After dat, I spent a while squishin' 'bolds and gobbos and fings. After dis, I read another paper which makes a loud noise. Somebody shouted, so I shouted back. I foun' de 'bold what had been shoutin' and we shouted at each other again, and den I squished him. I 'splored a lil' more and found some bread. Mmm... good food fing. De next fing I found was a paper that made my squisher more speshal. Also more shines, yay! I beat up some folks to get yet another speshal-makin' paper. My smashy fing is real special now. Xom smiled again, and I dint find nuffin. I squish another gobbo and et it, but dere's nuffin else on dis floor, so it doesn't seem too speshal.
Dungeon 3: Dere was anudder brawl, which I won. Dere were some orc-fingys here, too. I also found another squasher, which is weird cuz I thought I had the only one. Dis one is as speshal as mine, but its more shieldy den fun. I foun' a big scary ant, but Xom made me go Trog-crazy an I tore it apart. After I calmed down, some cridders jumped at me, but they tasted good. Even de cockroach. Den Xom gave me lots uh meat. Tanks Xom! Den a bunch of orcs and hobbeleys attacked, and Xom sent a Kwa.. Qa... big spikey imp guy to help. Deh fightin was fierce, and I was hurt after a jackal doggie bit me. Den I membered dat I had medicine, so I drinked it and felt better, den squished my enemies. Den I foun' an alter to de big shiny god. I din't change, dough. My spiky friend turned into iron. Fun! An den Xom went an changed me. Now I gots real sharp toenails. So den I left de place wit de big shiny god and went splorin’ wit my iron buddy. I bumped into some noles, and they were real mean. One of dem threw a net at me, but I threw it back and he was catched. It was lucky he was, too, cuz he had this real fancy distortin’ spear. My iron buddy den vanished. While I was recoverin’ from bein’ attacked by the noles, Xom tole me I is his special favorite, an now I got dese sweet antennors on de top of my head. De noles was guardin’ a shield, so I picked dat up. Afterwars, I foun a snek. Yum yum yummy snek. Den I went round squishin some cridders, a ‘bold, an some slimy ooze fing. Goin’ into a corridor, I were attacked by a gobbo called Ijyb. I know its his name, on account uh he shouted it. He also shouted “I stronger then you!” Which is silly cuz he puny stupid gobling and I mighty clever troll Vo. I hit him, and he fell sleep, den I squished him an he was et. I walked away, an Xom gave me a funny paper dat made me look all scary when I read it. I tried to thank him, an he made a chirping noise. And later I foun scrolls what turned into funny dust, an I swear I d’int et any of it. Okay, maybe a li’l bit. Later, I got finished explorin’ and went down.
Dungeon 4: When I got here, I squished an orc and sum cridders, and Xom gave me shinies. What should I have run into next but a big ole Ogger. We tried to squish each udder, but his squishing thingy was bigger and had spikes on an he squished me afore I could squish him. Tanks Xom for lettin’ me write dis last bit, you’ve been a real big help. I hope de afterlife has lots a tasty things an shinies and none of dis silly “too Full” nonsense.
