Haelyn the Thousand

This page is a Diary of a Crawler, the journal of an individual character. This page probably contains spoilers.

AKA the slow mental breakdown of yet another Crawl player.

First, a quick introduction as the player. I love this game. I'm not always pleased by changes, but I love it and probably always will. That said, I have spent about a thousand lives on this thing and never once won.

My record is two runes, and that's with a Gargoyle Fighter, and it hardly counts; the serpentine rune (I'm immune to poison) and the barnacled rune (I can fly). On top of that, I'd been given a demon whip artefact and crystal plate armor artefact (love ya, Okawaru). And I still died.

Only other time I even got a rune was the gossamer rune with a troll monk.

So I love the game, but I'm frankly not much good at it, it seems. Usually I get drunk with power later in or just get screwed earlier. So I'm gonna keep a diary and maybe that'll slow me down and help and you can laugh at my failure~

I'm kinda picky. My plays are always one of five selections; Gargoyle Fighter, Troll Monk, Tengu Gladiator, Felid Nekoromancer, or Draconian.. something. I never can quite decide with them. Maybe I should commit to Chaos Knight.

This is the story of a small group of friends with exactly one thousand lives, who are determined to bring back that bloody orb. I'll be writing it mainly from their point of view, and hopefully it'll be entertaining and educating. Hope you all enjoy!

EDIT: As I'd written that I had already had a game in progress that didn't seem to go well. Ended up claiming two runes and going through all the easy branches and the depths. Farthest I'd ever made. My death? The EFFING royal jelly.

Let me make clear my absolute loathing of the slime pits.

Let's start the journal now. Until otherwise noted, version is 0.19 a0 610, a trunk dev version.

Life One

Right, so, I'm Furein. A gargoyle fighter, with a sweet flail. I've been through this before, so I'm only going to really write here after D:5. Having said that, I'll try to log anything interesting.

Dungeon 3: Weird. Translucent rock walls surrounding green crystal. Haven't seen that.

Dungeon 4: Gadget shop with high end stuff. Gonna come back here later. Also, found Okawaru, sweet.

Killed by Eustachio because I was using a freezy axe and not doing corridors. Welp

Life Two

Let's try this again.

Dungeon 3: SIGMUUUND and you're dead. Why do people hate this guy? Well, I leveled twice. That's nice I guess.

Found Robin, too. Even inspired, goblins are pathetic.

Dungeon 4: Found the Temple, and Okawaru. Also an amulet of faith right before, so that was nice.

Dungeon 5: Assorted shop with neat stuff. Also Blork, easy kill.

Dungeon 6: Okay, let's take stock. I have a venomous war axe. I found a helmet and chain mail. Tomahawks of returning, throwing nets, wands of digging and slow, and a ring of stealth (hahaha).

Also have a staff of wizardry which might be useful later for spells. Now then, let's chug and read at all this stuff I was ignoring...

Two mutations potions! Got stronger and MR. Awesome. Plenty of healing options too; six curing, one heal, and one ambrosia. Bloody good for this early. And of course some other assorted options. Also for some reason i have twenty six fruits?

Found an orc warrior leading a small band and took his plate. Then I found another one with a priest and burned my heal potion. However, I also found TWO rings of plus six(!) dexterity. I think this is the first time my Dexterity has gone above twenty.

Hmm, Gourmand amulet. I want to keep my Heroism, so I'll wait for the second faith pip. Then again, faith amulet makes gifts more frequent. Choices, choices...

Ignored an artefact leather armor. Found a plus two armor gloves, which is nice.

Dungeon 7: Oh, an Ossuary! Please let me find it. Oh, wait, haha, magic mapping. It's right above me. AUGH TELEPORT TRAP. Oh, and a ring of poison resist. Makes me laugh, that~

Ossuary: Right then, tiny metal room. Beyond the door? It's the flooded layout with the bog mummies. Kinda worrying, especially since my weapon's poison won't work. First treasure room has useful scrolls and potions and an amulet. Of magic regen. At least I don't have more tough choices. Next treasure room had less useful stuff and a second gourmand amulet, boo. Also a ring of ice, meh. Oddly, I cut through everything easily.

Dungeon 7: Tsk, had to eat my jerky. Found a vampiric hand axe though, so that gourmand amulet is looking good. Duvessa and Dowan got chopped down immediately. I'm at four faith pips, so I'm thinking maybe use the gourmand amulet after I get one or two good gifts. Hopefully Oka doesn't wait long.

Dungeon 8: I was immediately assaulted by a mob that suggests the lair nearby, then Oka drops me some needles and I find enchanted armor. It's a plus four, nice, but plate is still better. Also a sky beast! Time to mutate.

It was all bad. Blurry vision, ticked off, rot, and antenna. I guess the antenna aren't BAD but I needed that helmet. Found another heal wounds though.

Found a forest with a very large fruit vault. Greatly appreciated, Fedhas.

Dungeon 9: Took an electro whip off a big kobold and found a well stocked scroll shop. Also a book shop. Nice.

Another sky beast! Risky lunch time. Vision went sharp, got MR, and clarity. Does that remove the rage?

HOLY HELL MASSIVE ORC ARMY. All they were gaurding was bits of gold. No orcish mines. Screw it, gourmand on, I have 43 chunks.

I found another gourmand amulet, come on really.

Dungeon 10: Oh holy hell army of stuff and a priest that's smite happy. I have to escape to D:11!

Dungeon 11: Oh god yaks and Snorg. Run run run, teleport trap? AUGH CENTAURS AND HILL GIANT. TELEPORT SCROLL

Beeeeeeeeees okay I killed them all and the centaur band and I'm alive. Found and killed Maurice and took his cloak of invis. Hungry ghost was a thing that happened and annoyed me.

Dungeon 10: Made it back. Oh god another orcish army. There's an altar back there.. I love this axe for the area effect though. Gonna try out this vampiric axe.

Found a holy wrath flail. That's nice. Found the orcish mines surrounded by too many priests. i.e. more than one.

There were way too many orcs on this level.

Dungeon 11: Don't forsake me Oka. Priests and Snorg and a hippogriff? And a wraith too.

Snorg berserked and killed me.

Life Three

Okay no big deal, I was on D:11 with little good armor or weapons, I was probably dead walking anyway right? Right? MOVING ON.

Dungeon 1: Ring mail of +2 MR. That's kinda nice. But also kinda mean because ring mail is the weakest metal armor and I basically NEED the heaviest armor I can get. It's fine for now though.

Dungeon 2: Ring of resist corrosion. This actually annoys me to see because I can only get one rank of resist corrosion and it's never enough. Did I mention I hate the slime pits?

Found a Pakellas room with a Digging wand. One charge left, so here's hoping I find a recharge. Should I train evocations to make better use of this?

What's worse than Crazy Yiuf? Crazy Yiuf with a flame wand. At least I lived...

Ring of Sustain Attributes. I'm not totally sure where this helps actually, I rarely get it. Lucrative D:2, this.

Dungeon 3: Oh gods. I found Robin, and he's using a digging wand to maximize the swarming of his goblins. Hard to move around too, since he throws them. First time I've used an escape hatch in forever.

Returned and finished him off. Rewarded with a vampiric whip that I'd like to use, but don't want to waste permafood on.

Dungeon 4: Antique store. Maybe useful later? I also found a +3 chain mail. I know I'll lose the MR of the ring mail, but the AC is so much better.

Also Menkaure died really easy.

Ran into the temple from a priest. It's surrounded in lava. I am here, Okawaru.

Priest nearly killed me. Got an amulet of gaurdian spirit which is... Nice I guess. Duvessa and Dowan are out again. Always kill Duvessa first.

Dungeon 5: Screw you Grinder! Also, got a +1 mace off a wight who was with a wraith. Are those OOD for this area?

Four mutate potions! glug glug glug I half regret it. Frail and deformed, but iridescent scales (+4 AC!) and cold resist. Also antenna, but also anti artificial healing. I wouldn't be disappointed by a cure mutate.

And that's the very next potion. Just left me the scales and some other meaningless stuff. I'm happy.

Dungeon 6: Okay we're not looking too shabby. Kind of nice overall. Let's see what happens, shall we?

Death to Eustachio! Oh hey, ring of positive energy. Hmmm... I guess I'll remove the resist corrosion ring for now? Wyvern zombie hit me kinda hard. Uneventful otherwise.

Dungeon 7: Got killed by an unfairly strong orc warrior (His scimitar was mundane) backed up by a priest, and a jelly stopped my fleeing. God effing nutter all.

ONE MORE TIME

Life Four

Dungeon 1: +2 chain mail of MR. Deja vu in a good way.

Dungeon 2: Gourmand!

I found you, Okawaru. I am loyal. ...Neat forest by the way. Isn't that Fedhas' thing?

God that adder took a long time to kill, and kinda hurt. Been forever since one of those stupid things was a threat. I'm made of rock so I could give a rip about poison.

Dungeon 5: The Cursed +1 Long Sword of the Inferno, with extra draining, cold resist, and stealth. Time to train long blades. Edmund proved a good test for this; and he had a +3 chain mail of fire resist and a +2 crushing flail!

Dungeon 6: Found some orcs guarding the temple. Enchanted morningstar, whip of holy wrath, and plate armor. Hmmm, armor decisions... Sticking with MR for now. Mundane plate doesn't quite beat these two +3 enchants Lots of enchanted short swords. Should I bother with those? I don't think so.. Incidentally, whip of wrath was +2, and morningstar was + bloody 4. I really want to use my cool sword though...

Dungeon 7: Boring

Dungeon 8: Found a scale mail of cold resist. Little disappointing, since scale, although better than ring, is still worse than the chain I have. Okawaru gave me some sleep needles; I'll be appreciative.

Killed Psyche kinda easily. She had a random dagger. Teleport trap landed me next to a +1 protection mace, which is okay.

Dungeon 9: Javelins of returning! These are useful. Maybe train throwing now. Sky beast lunch time! No effects really. None important anyway. Found an armor shop; two runed cloaks and a runed chain mail. I want them, but, hm...

Okay I bought a cloak. It's +2, so well spent I think. Also, Grum is dead.

Oh hey a steam dragon. Wish I could make you into armor. Your tile looks like a drake, wimp.

I found a scroll of brand weapon. That +4 morningstar is now venomous. YESSSSSSSS

Also a lair entrance surrounded in mushrooms. I also ate another sky beast, giving me MR+ and the ability to blink. That's really awesome.

Girls are now sleeping, please wait warmly

Ah, right then, where was I?

Dungeon 10: Seriously, Oka, I don't need more needles. Also, vampires don't seem to threaten me at all?

Holy hell one of the orcs was carrying a pearl dragon hide. Is that good? How good is that? I'm gonna enchant it!

Okay so it ended up equal to my other stuff but it's negative energy resistant. Not amazing, but useful.

Found the orcish mines, not much of a guard. Also, seriously, Oka. I'm good for needles. STOP DROPPING NEEDLES.

I found an antique weapon shop with a very impressive artefact trident. I'm tempted but don't have the gold or the skill for polearms. Later?

I found a really slimy cloak that somehow gives a +8 to dexterity. It also does -ctele, resist corrosion, and resist electricity. I don't seriously need any of that and it's +0, wheras my current cloak is +2. Maybe I'll use it if I have to deal with the thundering lightning zone of zap.

(Also ew, what kind of slime is it to resist corrosion and lightning?)

Orcish Mines 1: Alrighty, time to loot and kill!

SNORG. I SHALL HAVE VENGEANCE.

OR NOT

He went berserk early. I was taking him, but he somehow took me from 27 hit points to -15. How? How? HOW IN THE HELL?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

okay i'm good now.

Life Five

God effing nutter all Okawaru's big metal balls. I found a +3 mace and a ring of protection from cold and plate armor, and an ogre mushes me on Dungeon:2. Why am I so unlucky with big beefy things lately? Why am I so bloody easy to hit?

asdfgl

Life Six

sigmund killed me. But only because he had help.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Life Seven

gaufhoiuhfoufho8w9hsaoefhwefoaewf4thn7cnmsgr

Life Eight

• smashes head into desk*

Life Nine

batsssssssss. they're hard to hiiiiiit.

Dungeon 4: Lots of trees and fountains. This is actually kind of relaxing and pretty.

I found an Ossuary! Looks like it's the square tomb with guess-what's-behind-door-number-one.

Ossuary: Actually it's the room of weak zombies with the two oval shaped treasure rooms probably full of mummies. Let's give it a shot.

Nothing super useful. Scrolls and potions and gold.

cornered by a ghost and a spiked club ogre. GRGRGRGRGRGRGRGRGRGRG

Life Ten

BATS BATS BATS JESSICA

Dungeon 4: Something very odd. Found a shrine to Pakellas with a series of translucent rock wall. In one was contained a white dragon. I watched magical condensation flow down the chambers, and suddenly the dragon is being acidized. The acid fog flows through, followed by a mutagenic fog, and then freezing vapours and then a second round of acid, and it dies. And I hear Pakellas, god of invention, go "That wasn't supposed to happen."

What'd you think would happen? Did I miss something? I mean... I feel uncomfortable. Sure, the dragon would've killed me had it the chance, but that just seemed... I don't know how to feel, to be honest with you.

Lots of translucent walls here, too. Why? I mean, it's not like the place needs windows.

Dungeon 5: Destroyed Edmund at an altar of Ru. Here is my sacrifice. Take it. TAKE IT AND EMPOWER ME.

He did. Flail of draining, +2, and I found Okawaru in the temple.

Mutations betrayed me. Drained of HP and monstertele. My reward? Intelligence. Yay. Found a cure mutation, but still have monstertele. Then I ate a skybeast and started regenerating and evolving.

Dungeon 6: Boring.

Dungeon 7: Right, I have a +3 shield, flails of holy wrath and draining, both +2, a helmet and boots, an amulet and mutation of regen, and some returning tomahawks. Not good, not bad, just okay. Let's hope we get some better stuff before we go much deeper.

I'm always happy when I see wights. They commonly carry enchanted weaponry. In this case, +2 morningstar. Not bad. Also a +2 mace of freezing. I now have many weapon options, and am very happy!

The evolution just stopped after giving me MORE regeneration. VERY happy.

Dungeon 8: Found a Gozag altar, made of gold, in a room of gold, with statues of gold. Also, took some plate off an orc~

After a bit of a struggle, managed to kill Joseph. And then accidentally amulet of inaccuracy without a remove curse. asdfgl. I also found a quick blade. Is this any good?

Found a remove curse and a mutation potion. Good, and then all bad.

Dungeon 9: So, I found Blork. He's surrounded by deep water in front of an altar of Sif Muna. This is kind of hilarious. I mean he is trying to hit me fire (and scorching himself with steam) but he's screaming at me and dancing around on a trap door.

Hungry ghost tried to starve me so I ate a troll. OM NOM NOM can I regenerate faster now. Also killed an orc army. Mine entrance?

Dungeon 10: I don't feel strong enough for this. And there's an ice statue here, too. How would I take that out?

Holy hell there's an armor shop selling slimy crystal plate armor. That could be REALLY AMAZING AWESOME. But why did it have to be slimy? I need 2200 more gold. That's... A lot.

Another armor shop. With a magic helmet, an artefact boots, and runed fire dragon armor. I need all of this. I NEED ALL OF THIS.

Got teleported next to the mines entrace. I need a massive amount of gold, so that's very tempting...

Ate a skybeast. It wasn't bad. Think I'll try the mines. If I'm careful I should be able to take it.

Or I could run straight into a high priest and some little priests. Darn, how do I deal with this..

Mines 1: Went in and got translocated. Maybe I can fight my way out safely from this little alcove I'm in now.

Okawaru gave me a short sword of speed. I guess I'll be grateful.

Mines 2: OH GOD teleported right into the vault RUN RUN RUN

Stair dance for the win! This monster tele is trying to kill me though. This is bad.

Liberal use of Heroism is really saving me here. I need to make sure to do that more often. But even without it, I have slain Nergalle!

Okawaru chose to grant me some normal crystal plate armor. MUCH appreciated, Oka dude. OH GOD SAINT ROKA

Fine. Fine! MY GOD IS SUPERIOR.

Or maybe not. I desperately used every curing potion I have and finally teleported out in panic. I couldn't win.

Nope dead. High priest cornered me. I'm. I'm dead again.

I'm starting to hate this.

Life Eleven

But it's okay! IT'S OKAY! When, when life gives you lemons, you stick them on a mace and call it an artefact because THAT is the kind of luck you need so LET'S GO FIND SOME BLOODY LEMONS.

Spawned in a forest with a pretty fountain and ferns, and an amulet of Dismissal. Love you too, Fedhas. But I still worship Okawaru.

Dungeon 3: DIE TERENCE DIE. Oh thanks for the enchanted armor. Cold resist huh? Didn't think chain mail doubled as FLUFFY WINTER BUNNY JACKET.

Smashed some mushrooms and found Crazy Yiuf behind hit. His chaos staff hasted me so I bonced him good and took his cloak. I swear this is just a blanket the nutter wrapped around his neck.

Dungeon 4: I can hear the entrance to a sewer. That COULD be good, but I'd like if I had a way to fly. Well, let's try. I started reading all my scrolls in the hopes of Magic Mapping, but instead I got a Teleport scroll that dumped in the Sewer entrace.

Sewer: Looks like the one where i'm in the center and have to slog through to the vaults. I don't think I need to fly.

I hate slogging through this muck water. I mean, it's even green, for Oka's sake. Nasty stuff. At least I can use the bits of solid ground to keep the advantage.

Blast. I found a special vault with treasure but I can't get in without flight... I have one potion of flight. Is that good enough?

Got in. Not sure it was worth it, but hey, more stuff! Time to leave this stinking infested place.

Dungeon 4: AAAAAA I left and I got jumped by like ten things and gnolls. FIGHT SMASH POW. It's gotta be those howler monkeys. THEY'RE THE ONES BETRAYING ME. AAAAAAAAAAAA

I was going to win and then an ogre swung all my hitpoints out at once.

Life Twelve

Okay. Okay. Okawaru-ay. We can do this, just need to relax. Relaaaax. Re-L-AXE.

Let's see if starting with an axe helps me any.

Aaaand spawn in a dead forest. Okay, fine, I'm sorry, Fedhas.

Dungeon 2: An adder nearly killed me. An ADDER. ...Wow. I'm just bloody well cursed.

Dungeon 3: Found an altar of the gambling god, Nemelex. It's surrounded by translucent walls in which are firestorms and dark pestilence. I REALLY FEEL BLESSED.

Robin tried to attack me, but haha! I have A REL-AXE!

Sigmund + orc gang = death

REEEEEEELAXE

Life Thirteen

Relaxe-ing didn't work. Let's go back to the flail.

splrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp

Life Fourteen

Dungeon 1: GARDENS AND BAAAAATS, GARDENS AND BAAAATS, MAKE YOURSELF A BAT SALAD ON FEDHAS MADASH' COOKING SHOOOOOOW.

First, find a bat! Now, waste the next hour of your life TRYING TO HIT IT AND HOPE THE FIRST HIT KILLS

If it doesn't, waste another hour!

NOW. Find a fern. Any fern! Stuff it down the bat's gullet. Garnish with a bush. Fold up the wings and season with blood of newt. For the bat itself, SMASH SMASH SMASH tenderize it geeeently WITH A FLAIL and serve with fruit. Avoid fruit bat puns and you shall be the LIFE of the party.

Dungeon 2: Let's try to calm down. I found a jungle-ish ruin. Clearly Fedhas has been having fun lately. It had an altar to Ashenzari, which makes sense for a ruin. I like the look of the place.

Found and beat Robin. Nearly died, so chugged my unknown potion and won. He had a staff of power and an artefact helmet! Aaaaand...

It allows me to blink and has double cold resistance... But it's -6. That's a massive hit to armor class. Darn it. Can't take it. Says it's the helm of Pogeff. Iunno who Pogeff was, but he makes a sucky helmet. Maybe he was an antarctic penguin thief. That's what I'm gonna go with.

I found a room with like fifteen maces, a couple of which are enchanted. I'm expecting Crazy Yiuf.

Both enchanted ones were maces of protection. One of them was +1, the other +3. I appreciate this.

Yiuf's cloak was enchanted, too. +1 of invisibility. Escape option?

Sigmund is dead. Hah, revenge. And you tried to gang up on me again you cheater.

A cursed -5 ring of protection. Wooooow.

I found two rings of see invisible. If I wear both, does that mean I can no longer see visible?

woooooooooooaaaaaaaaah

blow my mind maaaaaan

I found an altar to the bloody god Trog. There's a moth of wrath in a cage that is beserking some rats and a giant worm. Dangerous, so I'll lure the beasties out and then go in. I appreciate that it's in a cage; maybe I'll come back later when I'm stronger and kill it.

Also, in a tiny tiny alcove behind a door was an altar to TSO. That was underwhelming.

Dungeon 6: Okay I found Okawaru and I actually made it this far. Edmund died and provided me with a +4 flail of protection, which is awesome. I'm fairly well set up. Can I survive? Who knows.

Found the temple. I don't need it but it had a nice lake.

Found a Quokka. These are pretty tasty, honestly. I mean, in the dungeon you just eat whatever you can get, so a little furball herbivore is appreciated.

Dungeon 8: 7 was boring. Anyway, I'm now in a big rocky cave. Exploring these tends to get annoying, but maybe I'll find lovely treasure.

Ugh, this cave is extra special annoying with whipped ogre on top. I did find a wand of polymorph though. And let me tell you, do I EVER have a use in mind for it. I also found a wand of digging, which is a great utility.

I love how centaurs never really hurt me. I'm usually heavily armored enough I can ignore the arrows.

I found a long chamber with colored rocks and an altar to Pakellas. I guess he's the god of rainbows too, now.

Dungeon 9: I decided to memorize the Summon Forest spell. I figure it's a good escape option. Hopefully I can train long enough to make this thing possible to cast in heavy armor. Otherwise, this place was really boring and nothing of any challenge showed up. I feel pretty weak for D:10, but...

Dungeon 10: It's one of those massive layouts with the numerous stone rooms. Let's hope I live long enough to get stronger.

I found the Lair entrance, guarded by... rats and bats. Oh fun.

One of the rooms contained an ice beast and ring of positive energy; pretty good, that.

One of the metal blocks, which are normally just blocks, is actually a room, interspersed with black stone walls. That just screams death, so I'll explore that last.

It's a treasure trove! This is the first time I've ever seen one! It's asking a wand of hasting to get in, though. I don't have one of those yet, but I'll DEFINITELY keep my eyes peeled. I guess I should play careful if I want to get in there. How rare are wands of hasting, by the way?

Well, I still feel pretty weak, so let's try the first couple floors of the Lair. As long as we don't find any death yaks it should be fine.

Lair 1: Been a while since I made it this far. Got chased into a corner by yaks, but they didn't taste very good. Can you milk yaks? Is that a thing? Also why is there a series of fountains here?

Oh well. Guess I'll take a bath. It's not a proper gargoyle bath; that is, standing on a church rooftop and getting rained on; but it'll do.

You know, the hippogriffs taste alright, but I'd like them as a mount instead. That's a thing I want to do. But then again, I'm probably pretty heavy. Oh well.

As I explore this floor, I realize the whole thing is one giant symmetrical pattern. I mean, it's not perfectly symmetrical, but it's pretty close. Looks very tribal. I appreciate this.

Okawaru gave me some poisoned javelins. That's. Nice I guess.

Had a fight with a basilisk trying to turn me to stone. That's like trying to turn a statue into rock.

OH WAIT.

Lair 2: I heard a snort, so there's a labyrinth here somewhere. I'm pretty sure I can take out a minotaur and there's always good treasure in those things. Do I... Yes, one magic mapping scroll, go!

A rime drake nearly killed me. I need some frost resistance. Besides the arctic penguin thief helmet.

Labyrinth: Patience and perseverance, and the treasure will be mine.

Found a redback spider. Don't those belong in the spider cave?

Also found a treasure pile behind translucent walls that I can't break. Mean.

I found the minotaur! I activated Heroism to make sure, but... It wasn't much of a fight. He died fast. Oh well. Let's see my rewards...

First, an amulet of regeneration. Excellent!

Then a ring of the stallion. It boosts several resistances, those being fire, poison, magic, and negative energy. But it reduces my strength a little and makes me weak to ice. So I guess I'll wear the ring of ice (Plus ice, minus fire) to balance it out?

The other was the ring of finality. It also resists poison (useless for me) but lets me see invisible and resists corrosion. VERY nice. Except... I needed to wear the ice ring. Or I'll be weak to ice...

Also gloves

A vampiric long sword of some kind. I'll leave it. I like flails and maces.

Also plate armour of magic resistance, which is excellent.

Should I stay here and try to find more treasure? That's probably a bad idea...

Lair 2: I've decided not to wear the stallion ring for now. I appreciate the good things, but I don't need weaknesses right now. I'll wear my positive energy ring for now, which replaces one part of it.

Sleeping needles? Oka, dude, I don't have a blowgun and why would I ever use a blowgun.

I found the entrance to the shoals, guarded by a single very tough snapping turtle. Turtle soup for me! But, I don't think I'm ready for the shoals. Maybe after I can fly. And am just generally better.

Oh hey, a ring of stealth! Now, all that clanking, heavy armor and grinding rocky body will be MARGINALLY LESS AUDIBLE

maybe if i get enough of these sheep i can retire and become a shepherd.

BLOODY JUMPING SPIDERS STAY STILL there. Okay, found the entrance to the spider caves. If I had to go somewhere, it'd be there. I can't be poisoned, so if I'm strong enough it's not threatening. But there are definite dangers there, still.

Lair 3: Let's try this first.

The hell, Nergalle? Why are you here? Fine, DIE

I was surrounded on all sides by her ghost orcs for quite some time trying to kill her and I got barely scratched. Why is she even a threat.

In other news, Okawaru gifted me... A sparkly wizard hat. He... He does know I'm a fighter, right? Well.. Apparently it's a plus one hat that lets me fly and makes me smarter. That's... I mean... Sigh. I'll be appreciative. At least he's not dropping me more needles.

I found a pair of boots. They've been gnawed on a little but they're serviceable. Also a slimy robe which I'm not even going to bother with. Screw robes, screw slime, and screw all the glitter dust on the thing because it looks like the glitter is squirming.

Found a ring of teleportation. Yet another escape option, good.

Lair 4: This is probably getting dangerous. Hydras and death yaks are possible now.

Or Maud. She had a potion of mutation that was ALL GOOD. Stronger, healthier, sharper vision. Lovely.

Why are there so many random doors in the Lair of Beasts? It's all animals down here. Almost makes you believe in that tale about the pigs. DEATH YAKS

I killed one. I'll.. try to stair dance the rest.

Okawaru was so impressed he gave me boots of running. That's pretty good I guess.

OH GOD ELEPHANTS HURT MORE THAN I THOUGHT

I learned two things. My teleport ring takes way too long to activate and elephants hurt but I can kill them.

14.1

Lair 5: I should not be down here. Well, at least I got to wrestle a polar bear.

A pack of blink frogs, an elephant, and a gryphon. Yeah, I got this.

I was ready for you this time, rime drake! Even though you did bring an elephant and a crocodile with you..

The giant steaming lake and the giant forest are both cool. The latter can be explored, hopefully without death.

HOLY METAL FIREBALLS A DIRE ELEPHANT WHAT EVEN

That was tough even with Heroism. But Okawaru gave me a brightly glowing broad axe. I want this to be awesome but I also don't want to have to start training axes...

The +1 axe of Haelyn's Fortitude. Chopping and magic resistance. How can I not use something marked with my name? I'll tell you why, the enchantment is low, I'd have to train axes, and my flail of protection raises my AC. I feel very conflicted and very cheated.

Apparently my fortitude sucks. Thanks, Oka.

The. The forest is filled with nothing but elephant corpses and skeletons. And no loot

I found an elephant graveyard. I am disturbed. I am leaving.

but i'm still going to chop up the corpses for food because im not stupid.

OH GOD SCROLL OF ACQUIREMENT. This can potentially give me something amazing.

...It gave me a sucky little buckler. Sure, +2 cold resist, but. I use SHIELDS. Not dinner plates.

Lair 6: I just took out three death yaks and didn't even get to half health. That feels pretty good.

I also found the entrance to the GODFORSAKEN SLIME PITS... With an altar of Jiyva in front of it.

Option. I could worship Jiyva until she loves me and gives me free passage through the place, and then try to make up with Okawaru. Hmm... Tempting. I'll have to wait though. Oka summons tough monsters on people who leave him.

I found the skeleton of an ogre. I didn't do this. ...who did?

Oh never mind there are skeletons everywhere and ABOUT A DOZEN ELEPHANTS AAAAA

Okawaru gave me ANOTHER wizard hat. It's not even that good. It's just a +2 hat. Whatever, it's better than the previous wizard hat.

KRKSKRSKKKSHKSHRKSKHSKRHSKRHSRS GAME CRASH MISSINGNO.EXE EFF.YOU

...wha? I'm at the start of Lair 6 again. Did time go backwards? I guess it did. Fine. I'll do it again.

The death yaks were much worse this time.

I decided to go the other way this time. This floor is basically a giant donut. Not bad though; not much challenge on this side of the donut.

Donuuuuuuts.

I TAKE IT BACK DEATH YAKS

I found a NecroNOMicon. Is this what they were guarding? I also found some special looking scale mail but I won't bother; no way it can beat plate.

Oh hi Nessos. I see you took the time to tame a crocodile, about five blink frogs, seven wolves, and you're a master archer centaur thing. This... Can't go badly at all, of course not.

"I'm half man, half horse, and all stone-cold KILLER!"

You're a lot of things, but intimidating is not one of them.

Anyway, he blinked around CONSTANTLY. So I made use of those poison javelins. I won... Eventually. At least that's done with.

Ah, now THAT feels good. Level fourteen; strong enough for my wings to get nice and big and fly me around. Excellent. The shoals could be much easier now, not having to wade through water.

A catoblepas! These things have a breath weapon that turns things to stone.

In other words, this is essentially a medic for gargoyles. And if you call right now, we'll throw in the cooking instructions! THOROUGHLY TENDERIZE.

Some death yaks joined in. So I'm just dancing around and watching them get stoned. See, that's why you don't eat random ferns, by the way.

Har har jokes.

Gah, that really hurt though. They got some hits in and the catoblepas hit hard too. Still, I won. I'm alive. That's what matters.

This must be the central vault. There was another dire elephant, even.

A beautiful treasure pile. Mostly food, and also a magical polearm I can't use, but also a very useful phantom mirror I can save for a later boss.

Augh torpor snail. I don't wanna be slooooow. I'm a fighter but I do need SOME brains.

HAR HAR JOKES.

...Anyway, that's the lair. Now then, spiders or shoals? I'm leaning towards spiders, honestly. I don't feel ready, but I think the shoals are worse. But maybe not? Maybe I'll try shoals... At least that way I don't have to face down orb spiders. On the other hand, I don't have too much magic resistance, which I may want...

Tsk. Well, we'll see.

Lair 2: Okay we're trying the Shoals. I'm basically going to the beach, right? I can relax.

Relaxing is good.

And I do have that Haelyn's Fortitude thing. So I can rel-AXE too~

And I was immediately forced back out by a turtle and some merfolk. O...kay.

Got them! And Okawaru gave me... A translucent demon whip. Those count for flails skills, so this could be truly amazing awesome.

It's plus five, raises my intelligence, and resists cold. AND IT CAUSES DRAINING.

Oka, dude. Thanks.

This does mean my AC goes down, since I'm not using the protection flail, so I'll have to be more careful. It says it's the whip of the seer, and I believe it. Because now I can foresee THE DEATHS OF MY ENEMIES.

And possibly myself but that's a given.

Shoals 1: I allowed some satyrs to helplessly pelt me with rocks, forcing them to come over with their sticks and die. Lovely~

ooooooh noooo the water elementals are trying to drown me whatever will i do i just cant figure out how to get awa- I'M A GARGOYLE DIE YOU BRAINLESS ENERGY DRINK.

So there are sirens here which can mesmerize me into not running away. What kind of song must that be? I'll tell you. It's the pussycat song. Because once you've heard that song played fifteen times in a row, hearing it again invokes a primal instinct to protect your own sanity by KILLING IT DEAD.

Okawaru gave me yet another floppy hat.

Lots of harpies, sheep, and sea snakes. The snakes are a touch threatening but not too bad. Looks like the major threat is the snapping turtles and the sirens of Tom Jones.

Josephine the decaying necromancer. And some wights. This should be easy.

Louise the Corrupted. Interesting menagerie down here. The darling had a large shield on her, though. Upgrade!

The merfolk here are easy if you're smart enough to fight them on land rather than water.

Shoals 2: Found a book of cantrips. I'm tempted to learn these spells; animate skeletons and summon small animals are basically weak meatshields, and apportation lets me teleport an item in my sight to me.

Oh, a naked water nymph trying to drown me. I'm just going to appreciate you for a while.

Okawaru gave me another big broad axe, this one slimy. Is this Haelyn's Intelligence?

HOLY HELL. The +11 (ELEVEN!) Broad Axe, "Olemunuf". Strength boost and chopping power. NOW I will seriously train axes. That is something special.

I found a manual of translocations. This'll make training that spell type easier. I'll drop that back at the lair in my stash, I don't need it know or possibly ever.

AN ACTUAL KRAKEN.

I fought it up front for a while and retreated to think of strategy. You know what? It's time for sushi. Let's test this axe.

TIME TO REL-AXE, BUDDY

Shoals 3: An immediate ambush! No matter. I have the secret.

THE SECRET OF REL-AXE-ATION!

Okawaru gave me boots of flying. I swear the guy is blind or something. But I will be grateful, because AXE.

Found a ring of sustain attributes. Again, not sure where to use this, but I'm sure it's useful.

A sentinel trap. You know what? I'mma step on it. Lure EVERYTHING to me. Hopefully more kraken!

Well that was disappointing.

Shoals 4: I can see the vault. Okay. Breath in, breath out. ...I don't breathe. But anyway, the Barnacled Rune of Zot is in there. If I defeat them all, if I live, if I'm careful, I'll claim a rune. Let's do this.

It's made of lovely blue-black rocks with electric patterns. I really like the aesthetic, even as I'm so tense. I'm scouting the edges.

Forced to run! There's something down there called an alligator snapping turtle and HELL is it vicious. I need to rethink how to approach it...

I went down a different staircase and found a scroll of acquirement. Let's hope...

I HAVE BEEN AMBUSHED BY A TRULY MASSIVE AMOUNT OF MERFOLK AND IT REALLY HURTS.

I used several heals and got out of there just a frost giant stomped up. This is terribly dangerous but I took out many of them. I need to be far more careful. Anyway, the scroll...

It's plate equal to what I have, but fire resistance. Nice... I guess. Was hoping for better.

Took out the frost giant easily.

Another massive ambush! Again, I use some resources and barely escape. Gods above...

I'm carefully using all three stairs to spot-kill stragglers and slowly explore. Slowly, patiently, carefully...

WE MEET AGAIN, SUPER TURTLE

OH THERE ARE TWO OF YOU?

MORE SOUP FOR ME.

But seriously, calm. I found a magic pair of strength gloves in one of the stony vaults. Haven't found the rune yet... Nothing here is a threat, not by themselves. But they excel at teamwork, ambushes, and movement restriction or knocking me around. I should have been carefully spot killing from the start.

I found a beautiful, glowing +1 crystal plate armour in a vault. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

YESSS. But now I can't have the options of fire or magic resist with the plate armours... hmm.

I found a manual of fighting. This is good. And I managed to kill their leader, Ilsuiw.

I found it. The barnacled rune of zot. The Shoals are now conquered.

GRKGFGKRGKFGKRKGFKGR HEY LET'S CRASH AGAIN THAT'S FUN

...Time again. No matter. It seems to just... Happen sometimes when I try to drop things. I'll remember next time.

Just read the above section again.

Er... Never mind. Before I could get the rune, something hit me with distortion and cast me into the Abyss. No matter. I'll find my way out...

This place constantly changes, and it's very twisty and confusing and just... odd. Hopefully I'll find my way out before the resident monstrosities mutate me beyond recognition.

Mwahaha. Found the way out. Time for vengeance. And while I was here, I found a spellbook from which I learned Lee's Rapid Deconstruction. Later on I can use that to bust tough walls.

Right. NOW the rune is mine. Time to leave. Spider cave now, perhaps?

Spider 1: Alright. How hard could this be? Watch out for packs of wolf spiders, panic about orb spiders (They throw orbs of destruction and run away, the cowards) and simply be slow and careful.

Killing spiders, and oddly electric eels. Also there was a porcupine down here for some reason? Well, I'll tell you now, if you want to get meta about cooking, can't get better than porcupine shish-kebab.

If I dance very carefully, I can avoid the rolling orbs and even get them to ram into other spiders or the walls. This is pretty good so far actually, considering the sheer number of orb spiders that have showed up. I'm watching their behavior carefully.

Oh, Donald the Adventurer. He has what looks like an electric double sword. This should be fun.

"Okwaru always makes me think of chokos"

Chokos? Aren't those fruits? Never mind, I'll be doing you a favor, killing you. Clearly you're insane.

"Something's up my trousers!"

IT'S MEEEEEEEEE

He had an enchanted shield but it's nothing special. I might try out the sword?

Found a distressingly furry ring mail.

...Really now.

Got it.

Walking away now.

Okawaru gave me a morningstar of protection equal in enchantment to my flail of protection. But morningstars are cooler. So, thanks.

Massive amounts of redback spiders. I guess they're poisonous? I wouldn't know, hahaha~

Found a moth of wrath by itself. Poor bugger.

Spider 2: A hornet? That's not a spider, is it? I'm pretty sure it's not.

Accidentally branded my protection morningstar. It is now flaming. I guess that's pretty nice, still, though!

Found some spellbooks and memorized Shadow Creatures and Regeneration. More meat shields and healing. I still am in too heavy armor and to unskilled in magic to cast anything, but we'll get there.

An emperor scorpion. Also not a spider. Come to think of it, the moth isn't either. This is just the INSECT nest. I was lied to!

And a ghost moth. I guess it's supposed to be an invisible draining thing. But I can see. And I can AXE.

Spider 3: A floppy hat of intelligence. Why, Okawaru? A helmet. A HELMET PLEASE.

A bunch of soldier ants and a queen. ALSO NOT SPIDERS.

Found a staircase back up that's surrounded by a pool. Weird. Found the vault though. Let's hope there's nothing too tough in there.

HAHAHAHAHA OH MY GOD

I watched an emperor scorpion get orb of destruction'd and the meat chunks were thrown all over the floor. This is beautiful. Those stupid spiders are really not helping their side.

Well, that was a really easy vault. Potions of ambrosia, best healing, and the gossamer rune. I now have two runes. Dare I do the slime pits?

HELL NO.

OH MY GOD I FOUND A WAND OF HASTING SOMEWHERE I CAN GET THE TREASURE TROVE.

I'm in! Alright, gimme the loot..

First off, scroll of acquirement. Let's hope for some armor.

ANOTHER GODFORSAKEN FLOPPY HAT

It was just scrolls, spellbooks, and manuals. I'm really disappointed and sad.

Dungeon 11: Alright, let's try just going down. I ought to be strong enough.

Nice narrow linear corridors. And... a pig. A pig? Really? that's a threat down here? No. This is bacon. GIVE ME BACON.

Oh an unseen horror? NOT ANYMORE!

I'm having a really easy time so far. Also there's just an entrance to the mines here for no reason. Sure, I'll conquer it.

Mines 2: GOLD GOLD GOLD GOLD GOLD GOLD GOLD GOLD

This is so easy. Even the warlords and such are painfully easy.

Even the vault, full of high priests, sorcerers, and warlords was effortless. Maybe Elven Halls will offer more challenge (And better treasure)

14.2

Elven 2: gods this is too easy.

I found a blood splattered hall with a beautiful sword among other weapons. A vault? Treasure? Slaughter!

It's the long sword "Iqeo". Neat, and I'll chronicle it here; vampiric, poison resist, and intelligence boost. +4. Not gonna use it though.

Neither challenge nor treasure.

One of them threw me into the abyss. Let's do this dance again.

I took on the entire vault, full of innumerable super power magic users, and survived. Yes, I did use a little healing for my foolhardiness, but I still won. Massive treasure room with plenty of stuff I could use later, but nothing super impressive.

Dungeon 12: I'm almost getting bored enough to try the slime pits.

I'm so bored I memorized summon butterflies. Which is such a low level spell I actually have a 20% chance of successfully casting it.

Dungeon 13: It's nice when things are easy. Oh, Okawaru gave me an artefact pearl dragon armour. I'd lose a touch of armor class, but gain strength and resist negative. You know what? It's also much lighter! I'll go with it. It's title is "of Objectivity"

But it also has a negative five int effect, leaving me with four intelligence. Stat zero penalties are possible. I'll wear my sustain attributes ring...

But, it's so light I can reliably use my weak summoning spells!

Dungeon 14: VENGEANCE IS MINE, SNORG

Dungeon 15: I found a ring of Egomania. More magic resistance and a massive strength boost, but it'll teleport me to monsters sometimes. You know what, that's fine.

Slime 1: And the shining eyes down here have rather badly mutated me. I'm in deep trouble. This could kill me. But, I know I left a cure mutation potion around here somewhere.

Blast. The cure took away more good than bad.

Depths 1: Fine. I'll just have to.. Find more.

I got teleported into a room of hell knights. All involved froze in surprise and then the weapons were swung.

I am continually eating mutated meat to get rid of the effects. It's.. Halfway working.

Teleported again, into a hell gateway guarded by hell hogs. Cooked bacon?

Depths 2: My blood is everywhere. Every monster in the level, including some deadly ones from vaults, cornered and murdered me. ...Almost. I used every healing I have and I should be dead. I'm dizzy, exhausted, and close to death. I think I can crawl back up...

Depths 3: I haven't been writing in this much, sorry. I guess things have been interesting, but I'm kind of just running around, killing, and try to de-mutate.

Hell 1: So yeah I went to hell and killed Geryon, the guard, with minimal effort. But I'm gonna go and explore the abyss instead. Why? Monstertele, that's why.

Abyss 1: Since this place never ends, I can technically get endless resources. I'm just gonna spend some time here and try to de-mutate and get more healing. Given the sheer number of things here capable of causing mutation, that might be stupid, but I'm gonna hope.

Abyss 3: I just killed an angel. Should I... Not have done that? And what kind of angel was it, anyway? Catholic, maybe? Looks like I'm raiding a holy fortress. Perhaps there will be a holy weapon to claim?

Nope. The Abyssal rune. I have it. That.. Is amazing.

Hell 1: ZOMBIE KRAKEN. This is sushi for the dead!

Vaults: Full of treasure, and dangerous. But so far, not challenging. I promise to write better journals later; right now I'm traveling the unknown and completely focused.

Bottom of the vaults I got far too confident and died because I ignored the advice of others and tried to take on every monster straight. I was so close, but... So far. But somehow, I do feel accomplished. It's alright. I've made progress and I'm ready for another shot.

Life Fifteen

I killed Sigmund singlehandedly again.

You know what? +2 scythe of protection. Let's try going for a two handed weapons run. I so rarely get decent shields anyway. This is more the tengu's thing, fast physical as opposed to armored physical, but I'm still gonna have heavy armor. Let's just try.

didn't work. You need to be well trained to use those effectively. Also, you need to avoid ogres. Sigh

Life Sixteen

I spawn in a horrible chamber showcasing zombies of all the explorative races, the ones that usually come down here. Naturally there's no gargoyle zombie, but some of the rocks look odd. VERY disturbing. Am I in for a few extremely unlucky lives to balance out the fourteenth?

I have slain Terence!

starved to death, essentially. Ossuary. oh well.

Life Seventeen

Took a while, but I killed Eustachio.

Dungeon 7: Oh right, journal! Well, I walked into D:7 and found three orc priests, so we'll be taking a different stairway down, thank you.

Then again, one followed me and got tenderized. Perhaps I can take the other two. Yeah, I can just stair dance them to death.

I found a book of Geomancy. Earth magic is one of the few kinds of magic my kind are good at. Gee, I wonder why?

Had to deal with an imp with a dagger of chaos. Worrying but actually easy.

I found a +1 plate armour of the Bazaar. It just boosts my dexterity but it's still nice. I've also found a +1 flail of draining; good to have little upgrades.

Dungeon 8: The instant I step off the staircase, I get teleported. Little dizzying, but whatever, let's see what I can find.

First time I've seen a gnoll band accompanied by a shaman. Still weak by this area though.

A gang of orc wizards and Psyche killed me with a distortion dagger.

Life Eighteen

Dungeon 4: This is a REALLY pretty temple. Nice blue walls, and a transparent window showing off a beautiful lake. And just outside the temple, what should I find but some +2 gloves and the +8 flaming mace of contradiction?

Why a contradiction, you ask? Because THIS time I won't die.

Found a tiny alcove with some royal jellies in it, guarded by a black bear. Bit of a challenge for early dungeon, I have to say.

Dungeon 5: Managed to kill Prince Ribbit, Duvessa, and Dowan. All pretty easy. I also found a wand of hasting, so perhaps if I can find another treasure trove...

Dugneon 7: First time Menkaure hurt me. I still killed him, obviously. Incidentally, who would make a zombie out of a quokka? It doesn't even have sharp teeth, for Oka's sake.

ANOTHER gang of wizards and a distortion Psyche. Why? WHYYYYY

Life Nineteen

grindeeeeeeer.

Life Twenty

Got impatient and rushed robin.

Life Twenty One

Crawl is now 0.23.2

Started with a longsword this time. A +1 ring mail of fire resist here on Dungeon 2. That's basically what I'm already wearing, but with fire resistance. Sure, why not.

Dungeon 3: A +4 ring of Dex, and one of Wizardry. Neither is reaaaally what I need right now, but I guess it's nice. Then I got cornered by wizards I somehow couldn't hit. Yay for death again.

Life Twenty Two

Started in a house thing this time, with a front lawn and everything. That's actually really nice.

Dungeon 2: Oh good a cursed rapier. I'm so happy. Found some sort of goblin fortress with money. That actually is nice.

Dungeon 3: I stair-danced Robin and his servants, and got a +2 helmet for it, which is nice. But then I removed the curse on the rapier, immediately picked up a glowing hand axe, and it's -2.

Dungeon 4: This makes up for things. A +2 whip of freezing and the Temple, with Okawaru. Making progress. Might actually make it to D5 this way.

Dungeon 5: Beautiful green crystal room. So, in stock, I have a couple remove curses, chain mail, a cloak, and at some point I got rings for protection from cold and =3 INT, which is... Manageable. I've also got an enchant armor, which I'm considering using.

Worker Ants look different. Also, I picked up a book of Cantrips, and just sat down and read the whole thing. Cool. I can do that now. I can summon skeletons and small animals with perfect ease, even with the INT hit.

Polymorph wand? I still remember my grudge against the royal jelly. I will totally see if that still works.

Dungeon 6: A book of Minor Magic, you say. Some of this stuff looks pretty useful actually. I'll memorize Imp and Mephitic Cloud.

An... Amulet of the Acrobat? How very strange. I don't think it'll be useful except for running away, but it's nice to have.

Ran down to D7 to escape a reinforced priest. Frog went down with me, so it's dead now. I stair danced the others and got plate for my trouble. Then I found a book of Maledictions. Awful lot of magic happening. I'm not exactly the bookish type, you know.

Dungeon 7: In a huge crystal prison floats the ghost of some Mynwai Cisi bloke, who's screaming about how the dungeon just goes down forever. I guess it's possible, but I've been down pretty far before. I'm sure there's an end...

Oh, and no, I'm not opening that gate. At least not yet.

Dungeon 8: Yo, a book shop. Seriously? This time the dungeon really was set up for a mage, not me. Also Psyche threw me into the Abyss and a Profane Servitor killed me, so that was FUN.

Life Twenty Three

Dungeon 5: Hi! Nothing unusually bad or good so far. Ring of +3 STR and a +0 handaxe of electrocution. Nothing else. Did just find some curare needles which might be useful.

Oh, whaaaat? I can't eat skybeasts and mutate anymore? That makes me really sad. And then a cursed tele ring. Attempting to read scrolls to find remove curse got me a scroll of teleport, sooo...

What in the... The +11 Scimitar, Lifebane. Slicing, resist electricity, resist poison (pfff), resist cold, but strength minus 3. Even if I didn't have a ring to offset the penalty that would still be beautiful.

Yo, scale mail of fire resist +1. This is going super well all of a sudden.

Dungeon 6: Found a book of Callings. Why are all these at 100%? Am I just that amazing? Hold on a sec.

oh right, that's risk of failure now. well then.

DIE SIGMUND DIE

I just killed an acid dragon. How did I do that? The scales are pretty much like what I've got but with resist corrosion, so that's nice.

Murdered Duvessa, Dowan, and Pikel. Managed to not kill any of pikel's slaves, too, so yay me!

Dungeon 7: Temple get. Okawaru get. Bit late but hey. Also +3 ring of INT, which together with the lighter armor gives me a tiny chance to actually cast summon small animals.

Dungeon 8: Note to self: Even with RElec, do not wafe overconfidently into a pool full of electric eels. I almost got killed there. Very stupid of me.

Dungeon 9: Found an alligator and a bunch of other reptiles, and it wasn't the lair entrance? Meanwhile, the orc army was indeed defending the Mines.

Assaulted a fortress, had to retreat to a corner to kill the big one. Orc warlord? General? The silver armored one. Okawaru gave me some silver tomahawks, which is sweet. Used heroism to one-shot a sorceror, which feels super good.

Lair 1: wave of frost, huh? I do have a ring of ice, so that'd be two levels of resist cold. Sure, why not. Oh hey, the porcupines look different.

Frost Cave: Imps, simulacra, ice beasts, murder murder what.

Oka dropped a smoking set of plate armour. I'll bite. The +9 Plate Armour of Bigec. Resist cold (natch) and int+3. This is pretty awesome.

Freezing Wraiths really, really hurt. Ow. I found a lot of iceblast wands and books of Frost and Ice. Killed an ice statue and some necromancer dude.

Lair 1: Found a bee vault with lots of rations. So that's lovely. I am slightly sad that all food is just rations now, though my inventory thanks it.

Ghost of a dude named Avis. Weird looking bloke. Maybe I'll come back later.

The... Incunabulum of Glacial Confrontation. Shock, flame tongue, irradiate, orb of destruction. I guess it's for confronting glaciers?

Lair 2: Okawaru gave me a double sword of distortion. I slightly regret that, but at least it only contaminated me slightly.

Hi Gastronok, Die Gastronok. I also found a book of Conjurations. Why all the magic, again? Last time I asked that question I died, so maybe I'll just keep my mouth shut.

Lair 3: there was a four headed hydra. i got overconfident. it has thirteen heads now and I left it on lair 1 in a net. this is a problem.

Killed an eight-headed one with this morningstar of draining I found. So that might work.

Whilst trying scrolls, one was acquirement. Jewelry, got the ring Ceest. Resist Cold, EV+1, and Strength +5. Awesome.

Killed another one and Oka gave me boots of flying. That won't matter pretty soon but at least it's extra armor.

Okay, sorry for not saying much. Just killing beasts. I'm doing well so I'm nervous. The spider caves and the swamps are here, and I'm not sure which one to go through. I think I'll poke my head in both and see how it goes.

Spider Caves: Oh hey I killed Aizul. Aren't you more a snake pits type?

There's a huge vault here. The door isn't locked but the bugs can't open it. There's a crystal statue and other nasties in there.

Okawaru gave me a +1 troll leather armour. It's called Enwarr, and it also lets me turn invisible and resist cold. I prefer the plate.

Holy hell entropy weavers still suck. Those are now priority kill targets.

The vault had a back entrance that was open. I managed to kill most everything, but killing the orange crystal statue required significant time with a sling and overcaution.

Swamps: WOO killed a swamp dragon! I am so good. Okawaru gave me a +4 electric broad axe. I kinda like this. Not sure where I'd use it tho. I rebreanded it in hopes of Fire. Got protection.

Swamp 2: +1 hat, Erchuonal, MP+9, Int+2, Dex-4. I'll keep my little helmet.

Murder murder murder. Since i'm immune to poison I'm getting by easy. Hell, the swamp drakes do more damage to their friends than me. Then I killed a thorn hunter and Okawaru gave me an awesome looking helmet. It's... Just +1 of Intelligence, but it's still better than what I had.

Swamps 3: Killed an ice dragon. Somehow. The scales are pretty heavy but how can they compare to +9 plate? And then I overextended slightly and got killed by a bunch of slimes and thorn hunters and maybe some other things iunno. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAfine.

Life One

Dear me, it seems I've been left with a responsibility. I suppose the patience of a gargoyle has its limits.

Pardon, allow me to introduce myself. I am a trollish monk, oft worshipper of the esteemed Qazlal Stormbringer. It seems I will be traversing this ever-changing dungeon in search of a rather tacky-looking orb. Ah, how life changes...

Dungeon 1: What a pleasant scenery. A forest behind a window as soon as I walk in, and a royal jelly no less. I must complement whoever makes these jellies on their lovely lustrous look. I can't say I quite approve of the seemingly random nature of this dungeon. It's not very intuitive, I must say.

Oh yes, and I should mention, if you want to most enjoy the food down here, you must be a little inventive and bring some supplies. Rat shish kebab is perhaps not a new idea, but it is plenty serviceable, I do say.

These green crystal walls are well cut, but they simply look tacky being strewn around like this. I simply must speak to the home design professional in charge of this place.

Bats can also be effectively shish-kebabed, however, much like chickens, it is also to the palate of some to separate and cook the wings for a dungeon-going snack, quite.

What's this? A section of the floor caused me to suddenly be elsewhere. Is this a new form of elevator or moving sidewalk? I must say, it's a touch disorienting, and 'twas not at all obvious. Perhaps it is a roughshod proof of concept that some absentminded engineer inconsiderately left lying around.

I have found what I believe is an art study. There are a few statues here; one of a centaur, one of a snail, and one of what I can only assume to be some sort of god or legendary mage-warrior. I suppose they are not badly done, but I do not think it would be remiss of me to offer the artist some advice. The room also seemed to be infested with bats, which are, although tasty, perhaps not the right sort of mood for such things.

Goblins and hobgoblins simply are not very tasty, I am afraid. If one is served such, however, and does not wish to seem rude, I suggest lemon rub.

Dungeon 2: A rather ugly-looking goblin named Iljyb attempted to stay my progress, but he proved to be an insufficient distraction. He attempted to use some sort of paralyzing wand, but I simply must speak to the superintendent, so I quickly shook it off.

Also, it is worth mentioning that giant newts make a passable hotdog substitute, although one would be well advised to have extra mustard on hand.

Another one of those prototype instant elevators. Quite vexing. I shall have to mention this.

I met a rather uppity gentleman by the name of Sigmund, sleeping on the job. Quite a pedantic sort I suppose, he really couldn't even fight that well.

Even for one of my acquired tastes, it is very inadvisable to attempt to eat kobolds, nasty little creatures. Naturally this applies to most undead, as well as beings such as gargoyles. There are rocks, and then there are rocks, but really it's quite bad for your teeth, yes. The common Quokka, on the other hand, makes for a handy makeshift meatball.

I found what I assume to be a small chapel. An altar to Vehumet sits here, along with statues of a similar design to the room on D:1. Perhaps this artist works by commission.

I found an enchanted large shield. It is a shame my rocky cohort is not present. He would almost certainly curse having missed this. I am most certain of that.

The giant worms here are not terribly tasty, and are best charbroiled if you have the option. A similar strategy can be applied to the jackals.

I met a lightly armored gentleman by the name of Terrence. Unfortunately he lasted barely any time at all, and was not willing to surrender the name of this artist.

I have found the altar to the esteemed Qazlal. It is in a room with windows, beyond which is a raging storm seemingly caused by the diamond obelisk behind the altar. I believe I can see a few dead bats being thrown around within, which removes from the aesthetic somewhat but is perhaps meant to convey a touch of power. Still, if that were the case, I'd have chosen something more threatening than a bat.

Dungeon 3: I have found a simple hedge maze. I suppose it's not bad, but it is a touch small. Of course, the storms surrounding me thanks to Qazlal may have damaged it slightly.

Dungeon 5: Ah, this section of the dungeon seems more well organized. Rooms of metal and stone, and open passages to connect them all. Much better. Still, it seems most of the rooms have little purpose.

The mutagenic meat of the sky beast is best served with copious amounts of red pepper, and grilled.

Some of these rooms are mere fragments or walls, as if it is in the middle of construction. Most vexing. And an imp threw a rather rude insult at me. Of course I punished him, but I do say, the citizenry down here is most inhospitable. One of the rooms appeared to be food storage, though distressingly, some of it was still alive. Not to worry of course, I fixed that.

The +1 robe, Qojol. The ability to go invisible, which I can't really use. Fire resistance, and a strength boost, all very nice. But a negative slaying enchantment that I quite frankly can't jig with. Sad.

I found Civaici's Jewellery Emporium surrounded by green crystal walls. Some rather nice pieces, I shall have to return upon finding more gold.

I found a significantly more evil imp by the name of Grinder, I do believe. Nasty little creature.

If one is so starving as to need to eat a giant cockroach, I suggest massive amounts of seasonings. Of any kind. Make sure all you taste is seasoning. Yes, quite...

I have found a transparent cage containing an angel set between an altar of the chaos god Xom and the righteous god Zin. The angel seems to have been driven quite insane. There are a number of weapons within the cage, however.

I have found a weapon shop containing the +5 Scythe, Finisher. This is an actual legendary weapon. It being a two handed polearm, I am sure our tengu friend would be very fond of it. I often find things others want. Of course, I am committed to open palms. And the occasional rock. For diplomatic purposes, of course.

While navigating the corridors, I have come across a lovely +2 floppy hat. I believe I shall keep it. It seems to be a star-spangled nightcap. How very adorably quaint. Perhaps I shall fancy myself the sandman and send the residents here to sleep. For a while.

Dungeon 7: Ah, a band of wights. Quite a group of them, but they're rather brittle, you know?

A group of orcs very rudely ambushed me en-masse! They did a number of nasty things to me, but I do believe I shall be stiffly resisting this silliness.

I admit I'm slightly impressed. This was a serious ambush. Many warriors and wizards, and some pets; an ant, an iguana, a giant gecko, an ice beast, a hungry ghost...

A hound and some priests later and I'm finally done. Quite the cleanup to be done, I do hope the cleaning crews can make it through this. Come to think of it, where are they?

I found an altar to Dithmenos the shadowed. A nice setup of black rock, here.

Dungeon 8: Frogs are best thoroughly tenderized and spread as paste upon plant matter, for a meal.

Dungeon 9: Another structured room. I really am having the worst time finding the elevator or the superintendent, I must say. Perhaps I shall have better luck here. Qazlal's storm has the dubious effect of attracting everything to my location; at least that makes food service easy.

I met another troll, but I must say, he wasn't very friendly. Certainly not a gentleman.

Dungeon 10: And now I have met a gargoyle. I must say, Furein's temperament was much more tolerable than this one.

Indubitably it must be said that many small zombies and imps continue to interrupt my meals. They can be easily reduced to playdough in my hands, but I wonder where they all come from. And, incidentally, why does there not exist undead demons?

Ah... It seems I have made a most vexing mistake. I cornered myself in order to more properly fight an invisible foe, but rather, it seems to have won by virtue of being invisible. I did not consider myself to be that weak. Hmph. Most impolite. I shall have to try again.

Life Two

You know, I could swear the layout is very different now. Perhaps I have accidentally entered the wrong dungeon? Or perhaps I used the back entrance. It certainly seems that way. I do hope that wasn't improper of me.

I found a metal room with water at the edges and large doors, and a stone floor. I must say, this seems like it is intended to be a sauna. That would be very interesting, quite.

Unfortunately, a mixture of adder's poison and priest's torment has foiled me again. I say, this is really rattling my cup.

Life Three

I'm not even sure what happened. I do believe that gnoll was out of depth. Perhaps that was the correct entrance, where I can find the superintendent, then.

Life Four

If you don't know, adders and ball pythons, if collected and killed efficiently, can be made into an interesting sort of pasta where meat and noodle are one.

A glass covered fountain serves as my set piece to a battle with Robin and her goblins. One of them tried to poison me, but I do believe I'm a little too tough for all this silliness.

Ah, how nice. A royal jelly, for me? These can be quite nice. Though I've never known Furein to eat the ones he has; they're a last resort and normally we're all quite practiced at avoiding starvation.

Dungeon 4: A maze of bleached white rock walls. This has a very office vibe to it. Perhaps I've finally found the right spot then.

It really does seem as if I'm weaker than I ought to be. I should be able to outdo an ogre...

Life Five

Ah, this entrance is framed in metal. Perhaps I can find the elevator somewhere around here.

There's a rather nice lake here as well. Decorative, perhaps. Then again, I may be in a floodgate area. Several spots in the dungeon are oddly occupied by small pools

I found a lady by the name of Jessica. I took her to be reception, but she threw some sort of magic dart at me. I chose to assume that this was not a customary greeting and responded sternly. At least I seem to be above the flooding now. Or rather, below it? That doesn't quite make sense, I must say.

Also, if you're going to make meat noodles, make sure to check the adders for poison. They really are quite nasty.

Ah, some sewers. Well, that should be easy enough to rip my way through.

Perhaps these are the cause for the flooding. It seems like a normal sewer line with holes in the walls, entertaining plant-filled caves with small troves.

I have found an altar to Elyvilon the Healer, with a docile Quokka next to it. I suppose everyone is entitled to have their pets, even if they'd be better served with lettuce and lemon rub.

Ah, now I seem perfectly capable of ogres, phantoms, and such. Odd. I did find an altar to the shining one, containing a caged angel. Opposite it was the god of destruction's altar, Makhleb, with a tormenter in a cage. Very odd. I can't imagine any of it tastes good.

I have righteously crushed the slaver, Pikel, and freed his slaves. He was as bitter as his meat. Which I won't be eating. Nasty little rats, kobolds.

I have found a room of nothing but shafts. It seems the floor here is quite weak. Somewhat worrying, that. The structural integrity of this establishment must not be up to par. I tried to ask a fat bloke named Blork about it but he simply wasn't helpful.

I seem to have been riddled with flaming arrows. This is quite vexing.

Life Six

Trunk update!

What a nice little forest spiral. Mayhaps I have found the gardens? I'm certainly finding quite a lot of bread... Perhaps this is a farming level.

Interesting. I've found some sort of metal structure with a moat. Perhaps this is the superintendent's office at last.

No, it turned out to be a metal spiral. The end contained a fountain with terribly clean water, however. I shall remember this is here for later recipes. I've also found an altar surrounded by statues, but. The altar is so faded there's no telling which god to whom it belongs. I'm afraid I shall avoid that risk.

Ah, most interesting, quite. A book of Tempests. The spells within would be quit fitting for me, I'm sure. It shall take me some time to be able to, however.

Ah, I fell through a shaft. Pardon me as I work my way back up. This place really needs maintenance, I do say.

I've found an altar to Zin behind the temple entrance. Oddly, an angel appears to be encased here. It's lecturing me as I write this.

What an odd temple layout. A stone island dotted with plants, and an oval shrine containing but a few altars. Qazlal is not among them.

To my great surprise, I found a kobold slaver! His name was Pikel, and he was quite a horrible little rotter. I was forced to kill one of the slaves to get to him, but the rest are quite free. I suppose this place needs policing too. Also, very oddly, two altars to Dithmenos are but a few rooms from each other. This seems redundant.

I found an altar to the dancing god, Uskayaw. A couple of axes in a glass case have been enchanted with Tukima's dance and are trying to kill me. To no avail of course, they're quite trapped.

Dungeon 6: Alright, I seem to be making it alright. Very well then, a gentleman would be remiss not to advance on his goal. I found an odd broken stone room containing an altar to that bloody god, Trog, as well. I'd rather not, all the same. And in another room, an altar to Ru the Awakened, covered in webs and plants and mushrooms. Perhaps a stew is in order.