Haelyn the Thousand

This page is a Diary of a Crawler, the journal of an individual character. This page probably contains spoilers.

AKA the slow mental breakdown of yet another Crawl player.

First, a quick introduction as the player. I love this game. I'm not always pleased by changes, but I love it and probably always will. That said, I have spent about a thousand lives on this thing and never once won.

My record is two runes, and that's with a Gargoyle Fighter, and it hardly counts; the serpentine rune (I'm immune to poison) and the barnacled rune (I can fly). On top of that, I'd been given a demon whip artefact and crystal plate armor artefact (love ya, Okawaru). And I still died.

Only other time I even got a rune was the gossamer rune with a troll monk.

So I love the game, but I'm frankly not much good at it, it seems. Usually I get drunk with power later in or just get screwed earlier. So I'm gonna keep a diary and maybe that'll slow me down and help and you can laugh at my failure~

I'm kinda picky. My plays are always one of five selections; Gargoyle Fighter, Troll Monk, Tengu Gladiator, Felid Nekoromancer, or Draconian.. something. I never can quite decide with them. Maybe I should commit to Chaos Knight.

This is the story of a gargoyle fighter with exactly one thousand lives, who is determined to bring back that bloody orb. I'll be writing it mainly from his point of view, and hopefully it'll be entertaining and educating. Hope you all enjoy!

EDIT: As I'd written that I had already had a game in progress that didn't seem to go well. Ended up claiming two runes and going through all the easy branches and the depths. Farthest I'd ever made. My death? The EFFING royal jelly.

Let me make clear my absolute loathing of the slime pits.

Let's start the journal now. Until otherwise noted, version is 0.19 a0 610, a trunk dev version.

Life One

Right, so, I'm a gargoyle fighter, with a sweet flail. I've been through this before, so I'm only going to really write here after D:5. Having said that, I'll try to log anything interesting.

Dungeon 3: Weird. Translucent rock walls surrounding green crystal. Haven't seen that.

Dungeon 4: Gadget shop with high end stuff. Gonna come back here later. Also, found Okawaru, sweet.

Killed by Eustachio because I was using a freezy axe and not doing corridors. Welp

Life Two

Let's try this again.

Dungeon 3: SIGMUUUND and you're dead. Why do people hate this guy? Well, I leveled twice. That's nice I guess.

Found Robin, too. Even inspired, goblins are pathetic.

Dungeon 4: Found the Temple, and Okawaru. Also an amulet of faith right before, so that was nice.

Dungeon 5: Assorted shop with neat stuff. Also Blork, easy kill.

Dungeon 6: Okay, let's take stock. I have a venomous war axe. I found a helmet and chain mail. Tomahawks of returning, throwing nets, wands of digging and slow, and a ring of stealth (hahaha).

Also have a staff of wizardry which might be useful later for spells. Now then, let's chug and read at all this stuff I was ignoring...

Two mutations potions! Got stronger and MR. Awesome. Plenty of healing options too; six curing, one heal, and one ambrosia. Bloody good for this early. And of course some other assorted options. Also for some reason i have twenty six fruits?

Found an orc warrior leading a small band and took his plate. Then I found another one with a priest and burned my heal potion. However, I also found TWO rings of plus six(!) dexterity. I think this is the first time my Dexterity has gone above twenty.

Hmm, Gourmand amulet. I want to keep my Heroism, so I'll wait for the second faith pip. Then again, faith amulet makes gifts more frequent. Choices, choices...

Ignored an artefact leather armor. Found a plus two armor gloves, which is nice.

Dungeon 7: Oh, an Ossuary! Please let me find it. Oh, wait, haha, magic mapping. It's right above me. AUGH TELEPORT TRAP. Oh, and a ring of poison resist. Makes me laugh, that~

Ossuary: Right then, tiny metal room. Beyond the door? It's the flooded layout with the bog mummies. Kinda worrying, especially since my weapon's poison won't work. First treasure room has useful scrolls and potions and an amulet. Of magic regen. At least I don't have more tough choices. Next treasure room had less useful stuff and a second gourmand amulet, boo. Also a ring of ice, meh. Oddly, I cut through everything easily.

Dungeon 7: Tsk, had to eat my jerky. Found a vampiric hand axe though, so that gourmand amulet is looking good. Duvessa and Dowan got chopped down immediately. I'm at four faith pips, so I'm thinking maybe use the gourmand amulet after I get one or two good gifts. Hopefully Oka doesn't wait long.

Dungeon 8: I was immediately assaulted by a mob that suggests the lair nearby, then Oka drops me some needles and I find enchanted armor. It's a plus four, nice, but plate is still better. Also a sky beast! Time to mutate.

It was all bad. Blurry vision, ticked off, rot, and antenna. I guess the antenna aren't BAD but I needed that helmet. Found another heal wounds though.

Found a forest with a very large fruit vault. Greatly appreciated, Fedhas.

Dungeon 9: Took an electro whip off a big kobold and found a well stocked scroll shop. Also a book shop. Nice.

Another sky beast! Risky lunch time. Vision went sharp, got MR, and clarity. Does that remove the rage?

HOLY HELL MASSIVE ORC ARMY. All they were gaurding was bits of gold. No orcish mines. Screw it, gourmand on, I have 43 chunks.

I found another gourmand amulet, come on really.

Dungeon 10: Oh holy hell army of stuff and a priest that's smite happy. I have to escape to D:11!

Dungeon 11: Oh god yaks and Snorg. Run run run, teleport trap? AUGH CENTAURS AND HILL GIANT. TELEPORT SCROLL

Beeeeeeeeees okay I killed them all and the centaur band and I'm alive. Found and killed Maurice and took his cloak of invis. Hungry ghost was a thing that happened and annoyed me.

Dungeon 10: Made it back. Oh god another orcish army. There's an altar back there.. I love this axe for the area effect though. Gonna try out this vampiric axe.

Found a holy wrath flail. That's nice. Found the orcish mines surrounded by too many priests. i.e. more than one.

There were way too many orcs on this level.

Dungeon 11: Don't forsake me Oka. Priests and Snorg and a hippogriff? And a wraith too.

Snorg berserked and killed me.

Life Three

Okay no big deal, I was on D:11 with little good armor or weapons, I was probably dead walking anyway right? Right? MOVING ON.

Dungeon 1: Ring mail of +2 MR. That's kinda nice. But also kinda mean because ring mail is the weakest metal armor and I basically NEED the heaviest armor I can get. It's fine for now though.

Dungeon 2: Ring of resist corrosion. This actually annoys me to see because I can only get one rank of resist corrosion and it's never enough. Did I mention I hate the slime pits?

Found a Pakellas room with a Digging wand. One charge left, so here's hoping I find a recharge. Should I train evocations to make better use of this?

What's worse than Crazy Yiuf? Crazy Yiuf with a flame wand. At least I lived...

Ring of Sustain Attributes. I'm not totally sure where this helps actually, I rarely get it. Lucrative D:2, this.

Dungeon 3: Oh gods. I found Robin, and he's using a digging wand to maximize the swarming of his goblins. Hard to move around too, since he throws them. First time I've used an escape hatch in forever.

Returned and finished him off. Rewarded with a vampiric whip that I'd like to use, but don't want to waste permafood on.

Dungeon 4: Antique store. Maybe useful later? I also found a +3 chain mail. I know I'll lose the MR of the ring mail, but the AC is so much better.

Also Menkaure died really easy.

Ran into the temple from a priest. It's surrounded in lava. I am here, Okawaru.

Priest nearly killed me. Got an amulet of gaurdian spirit which is... Nice I guess. Duvessa and Dowan are out again. Always kill Duvessa first.

Dungeon 5: Screw you Grinder! Also, got a +1 mace off a wight who was with a wraith. Are those OOD for this area?

Four mutate potions! glug glug glug I half regret it. Frail and deformed, but iridescent scales (+4 AC!) and cold resist. Also antenna, but also anti artificial healing. I wouldn't be disappointed by a cure mutate.

And that's the very next potion. Just left me the scales and some other meaningless stuff. I'm happy.

Dungeon 6: Okay we're not looking too shabby. Kind of nice overall. Let's see what happens, shall we?

Death to Eustachio! Oh hey, ring of positive energy. Hmmm... I guess I'll remove the resist corrosion ring for now? Wyvern zombie hit me kinda hard. Uneventful otherwise.

Dungeon 7: Got killed by an unfairly strong orc warrior (His scimitar was mundane) backed up by a priest, and a jelly stopped my fleeing. God effing nutter all.

ONE MORE TIME

Life Four

Dungeon 1: +2 chain mail of MR. Deja vu in a good way.

Dungeon 2: Gourmand!

I found you, Okawaru. I am loyal. ...Neat forest by the way. Isn't that Fedhas' thing?

God that adder took a long time to kill, and kinda hurt. Been forever since one of those stupid things was a threat. I'm made of rock so I could give a rip about poison.

Dungeon 5: The Cursed +1 Long Sword of the Inferno, with extra draining, cold resist, and stealth. Time to train long blades. Edmund proved a good test for this; and he had a +3 chain mail of fire resist and a +2 crushing flail!

Dungeon 6: Found some orcs guarding the temple. Enchanted morningstar, whip of holy wrath, and plate armor. Hmmm, armor decisions... Sticking with MR for now. Mundane plate doesn't quite beat these two +3 enchants Lots of enchanted short swords. Should I bother with those? I don't think so.. Incidentally, whip of wrath was +2, and morningstar was + bloody 4. I really want to use my cool sword though...

Dungeon 7: Boring

Dungeon 8: Found a scale mail of cold resist. Little disappointing, since scale, although better than ring, is still worse than the chain I have. Okawaru gave me some sleep needles; I'll be appreciative.

Killed Psyche kinda easily. She had a random dagger. Teleport trap landed me next to a +1 protection mace, which is okay.

Dungeon 9: Javelins of returning! These are useful. Maybe train throwing now. Sky beast lunch time! No effects really. None important anyway. Found an armor shop; two runed cloaks and a runed chain mail. I want them, but, hm...

Okay I bought a cloak. It's +2, so well spent I think. Also, Grum is dead.

Oh hey a steam dragon. Wish I could make you into armor. Your tile looks like a drake, wimp.

I found a scroll of brand weapon. That +4 morningstar is now venomous. YESSSSSSSS

Also a lair entrance surrounded in mushrooms. I also ate another sky beast, giving me MR+ and the ability to blink. That's really awesome.

Girls are now sleeping, please wait warmly

Ah, right then, where was I?

Dungeon 10: Seriously, Oka, I don't need more needles. Also, vampires don't seem to threaten me at all?

Holy hell one of the orcs was carrying a pearl dragon hide. Is that good? How good is that? I'm gonna enchant it!

Okay so it ended up equal to my other stuff but it's negative energy resistant. Not amazing, but useful.

Found the orcish mines, not much of a guard. Also, seriously, Oka. I'm good for needles. STOP DROPPING NEEDLES.

I found an antique weapon shop with a very impressive artefact trident. I'm tempted but don't have the gold or the skill for polearms. Later?

I found a really slimy cloak that somehow gives a +8 to dexterity. It also does -ctele, resist corrosion, and resist electricity. I don't seriously need any of that and it's +0, wheras my current cloak is +2. Maybe I'll use it if I have to deal with the thundering lightning zone of zap.

(Also ew, what kind of slime is it to resist corrosion and lightning?)

Orcish Mines 1: Alrighty, time to loot and kill!

SNORG. I SHALL HAVE VENGEANCE.

OR NOT

He went berserk early. I was taking him, but he somehow took me from 27 hit points to -15. How? How? HOW IN THE HELL?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

okay i'm good now.

Life Five

God effing nutter all Okawaru's big metal balls. I found a +3 mace and a ring of protection from cold and plate armor, and an ogre mushes me on Dungeon:2. Why am I so unlucky with big beefy things lately? Why am I so bloody easy to hit?

asdfgl

Life Six

sigmund killed me. But only because he had help.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Life Seven

gaufhoiuhfoufho8w9hsaoefhwefoaewf4thn7cnmsgr

Life Eight

• smashes head into desk*

Life Nine

batsssssssss. they're hard to hiiiiiit.

Dungeon 4: Lots of trees and fountains. This is actually kind of relaxing and pretty.

I found an Ossuary! Looks like it's the square tomb with guess-what's-behind-door-number-one.

Ossuary: Actually it's the room of weak zombies with the two oval shaped treasure rooms probably full of mummies. Let's give it a shot.

Nothing super useful. Scrolls and potions and gold.

cornered by a ghost and a spiked club ogre. GRGRGRGRGRGRGRGRGRGRG

Life Ten

BATS BATS BATS JESSICA

Dungeon 4: Something very odd. Found a shrine to Pakellas with a series of translucent rock wall. In one was contained a white dragon. I watched magical condensation flow down the chambers, and suddenly the dragon is being acidized. The acid fog flows through, followed by a mutagenic fog, and then freezing vapours and then a second round of acid, and it dies. And I hear Pakellas, god of invention, go "That wasn't supposed to happen."

What'd you think would happen? Did I miss something? I mean... I feel uncomfortable. Sure, the dragon would've killed me had it the chance, but that just seemed... I don't know how to feel, to be honest with you.

Lots of translucent walls here, too. Why? I mean, it's not like the place needs windows.

Dungeon 5: Destroyed Edmund at an altar of Ru. Here is my sacrifice. Take it. TAKE IT AND EMPOWER ME.

He did. Flail of draining, +2, and I found Okawaru in the temple.

Mutations betrayed me. Drained of HP and monstertele. My reward? Intelligence. Yay. Found a cure mutation, but still have monstertele. Then I ate a skybeast and started regenerating and evolving.

Dungeon 6: Boring.

Dungeon 7: Right, I have a +3 shield, flails of holy wrath and draining, both +2, a helmet and boots, an amulet and mutation of regen, and some returning tomahawks. Not good, not bad, just okay. Let's hope we get some better stuff before we go much deeper.

I'm always happy when I see wights. They commonly carry enchanted weaponry. In this case, +2 morningstar. Not bad. Also a +2 mace of freezing. I now have many weapon options, and am very happy!

The evolution just stopped after giving me MORE regeneration. VERY happy.

Dungeon 8: Found a Gozag altar, made of gold, in a room of gold, with statues of gold. Also, took some plate off an orc~

After a bit of a struggle, managed to kill Joseph. And then accidentally amulet of inaccuracy without a remove curse. asdfgl. I also found a quick blade. Is this any good?

Found a remove curse and a mutation potion. Good, and then all bad.

Dungeon 9: So, I found Blork. He's surrounded by deep water in front of an altar of Sif Muna. This is kind of hilarious. I mean he is trying to hit me fire (and scorching himself with steam) but he's screaming at me and dancing around on a trap door.

Hungry ghost tried to starve me so I ate a troll. OM NOM NOM can I regenerate faster now. Also killed an orc army. Mine entrance?

Dungeon 10: I don't feel strong enough for this. And there's an ice statue here, too. How would I take that out?

Holy hell there's an armor shop selling slimy crystal plate armor. That could be REALLY AMAZING AWESOME. But why did it have to be slimy? I need 2200 more gold. That's... A lot.

Another armor shop. With a magic helmet, an artefact boots, and runed fire dragon armor. I need all of this. I NEED ALL OF THIS.

Got teleported next to the mines entrace. I need a massive amount of gold, so that's very tempting...

Ate a skybeast. It wasn't bad. Think I'll try the mines. If I'm careful I should be able to take it.

Or I could run straight into a high priest and some little priests. Darn, how do I deal with this..

Mines 1: Went in and got translocated. Maybe I can fight my way out safely from this little alcove I'm in now.

Okawaru gave me a short sword of speed. I guess I'll be grateful.

Mines 2: OH GOD teleported right into the vault RUN RUN RUN

Stair dance for the win! This monster tele is trying to kill me though. This is bad.

Liberal use of Heroism is really saving me here. I need to make sure to do that more often. But even without it, I have slain Nergalle!

Okawaru chose to grant me some normal crystal plate armor. MUCH appreciated, Oka dude. OH GOD SAINT ROKA

Fine. Fine! MY GOD IS SUPERIOR.

Or maybe not. I desperately used every curing potion I have and finally teleported out in panic. I couldn't win.

Nope dead. High priest cornered me. I'm. I'm dead again.

I'm starting to hate this.

Life Eleven

But it's okay! IT'S OKAY! When, when life gives you lemons, you stick them on a mace and call it an artefact because THAT is the kind of luck you need so LET'S GO FIND SOME BLOODY LEMONS.

Spawned in a forest with a pretty fountain and ferns, and an amulet of Dismissal. Love you too, Fedhas. But I still worship Okawaru.

Dungeon 3: DIE TERENCE DIE. Oh thanks for the enchanted armor. Cold resist huh? Didn't think chain mail doubled as FLUFFY WINTER BUNNY JACKET.

Smashed some mushrooms and found Crazy Yiuf behind hit. His chaos staff hasted me so I bonced him good and took his cloak. I swear this is just a blanket the nutter wrapped around his neck.

Dungeon 4: I can hear the entrance to a sewer. That COULD be good, but I'd like if I had a way to fly. Well, let's try. I started reading all my scrolls in the hopes of Magic Mapping, but instead I got a Teleport scroll that dumped in the Sewer entrace.

Sewer: Looks like the one where i'm in the center and have to slog through to the vaults. I don't think I need to fly.

I hate slogging through this muck water. I mean, it's even green, for Oka's sake. Nasty stuff. At least I can use the bits of solid ground to keep the advantage.

Blast. I found a special vault with treasure but I can't get in without flight... I have one potion of flight. Is that good enough?

Got in. Not sure it was worth it, but hey, more stuff! Time to leave this stinking infested place.

Dungeon 4: AAAAAA I left and I got jumped by like ten things and gnolls. FIGHT SMASH POW. It's gotta be those howler monkeys. THEY'RE THE ONES BETRAYING ME. AAAAAAAAAAAA

I was going to win and then an ogre swung all my hitpoints out at once.

Life Twelve

Okay. Okay. Okawaru-ay. We can do this, just need to relax. Relaaaax. Re-L-AXE.

Let's see if starting with an axe helps me any.

Aaaand spawn in a dead forest. Okay, fine, I'm sorry, Fedhas.

Dungeon 2: An adder nearly killed me. An ADDER. ...Wow. I'm just bloody well cursed.

Dungeon 3: Found an altar of the gambling god, Nemelex. It's surrounded by translucent walls in which are firestorms and dark pestilence. I REALLY FEEL BLESSED.

Robin tried to attack me, but haha! I have A REL-AXE!

Sigmund + orc gang = death

REEEEEEELAXE

Life Thirteen

Relaxe-ing didn't work. Let's go back to the flail.

splrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp

Life Fourteen

Dungeon 1: GARDENS AND BAAAAATS, GARDENS AND BAAAATS, MAKE YOURSELF A BAT SALAD ON FEDHAS MADASH' COOKING SHOOOOOOW.

First, find a bat! Now, waste the next hour of your life TRYING TO HIT IT AND HOPE THE FIRST HIT KILLS

If it doesn't, waste another hour!

NOW. Find a fern. Any fern! Stuff it down the bat's gullet. Garnish with a bush. Fold up the wings and season with blood of newt. For the bat itself, SMASH SMASH SMASH tenderize it geeeently WITH A FLAIL and serve with fruit. Avoid fruit bat puns and you shall be the LIFE of the party.

Dungeon 2: Let's try to calm down. I found a jungle-ish ruin. Clearly Fedhas has been having fun lately. It had an altar to Ashenzari, which makes sense for a ruin. I like the look of the place.

Found and beat Robin. Nearly died, so chugged my unknown potion and won. He had a staff of power and an artefact helmet! Aaaaand...

It allows me to blink and has double cold resistance... But it's -6. That's a massive hit to armor class. Darn it. Can't take it. Says it's the helm of Pogeff. Iunno who Pogeff was, but he makes a sucky helmet. Maybe he was an antarctic penguin thief. That's what I'm gonna go with.

I found a room with like fifteen maces, a couple of which are enchanted. I'm expecting Crazy Yiuf.

Both enchanted ones were maces of protection. One of them was +1, the other +3. I appreciate this.

Yiuf's cloak was enchanted, too. +1 of invisibility. Escape option?

Sigmund is dead. Hah, revenge. And you tried to gang up on me again you cheater.

A cursed -5 ring of protection. Wooooow.

I found two rings of see invisible. If I wear both, does that mean I can no longer see visible?

woooooooooooaaaaaaaaah

blow my mind maaaaaan

I found an altar to the bloody god Trog. There's a moth of wrath in a cage that is beserking some rats and a giant worm. Dangerous, so I'll lure the beasties out and then go in. I appreciate that it's in a cage; maybe I'll come back later when I'm stronger and kill it.

Also, in a tiny tiny alcove behind a door was an altar to TSO. That was underwhelming.

Dungeon 6: Okay I found Okawaru and I actually made it this far. Edmund died and provided me with a +4 flail of protection, which is awesome. I'm fairly well set up. Can I survive? Who knows.

Found the temple. I don't need it but it had a nice lake.

Found a Quokka. These are pretty tasty, honestly. I mean, in the dungeon you just eat whatever you can get, so a little furball herbivore is appreciated.

Dungeon 8: 7 was boring. Anyway, I'm now in a big rocky cave. Exploring these tends to get annoying, but maybe I'll find lovely treasure.

Ugh, this cave is extra special annoying with whipped ogre on top. I did find a wand of polymorph though. And let me tell you, do I EVER have a use in mind for it. I also found a wand of digging, which is a great utility.

I love how centaurs never really hurt me. I'm usually heavily armored enough I can ignore the arrows.

I found a long chamber with colored rocks and an altar to Pakellas. I guess he's the god of rainbows too, now.

Dungeon 9: I decided to memorize the Summon Forest spell. I figure it's a good escape option. Hopefully I can train long enough to make this thing possible to cast in heavy armor. Otherwise, this place was really boring and nothing of any challenge showed up. I feel pretty weak for D:10, but...

Dungeon 10: It's one of those massive layouts with the numerous stone rooms. Let's hope I live long enough to get stronger.

I found the Lair entrance, guarded by... rats and bats. Oh fun.

One of the rooms contained an ice beast and ring of positive energy; pretty good, that.

One of the metal blocks, which are normally just blocks, is actually a room, interspersed with black stone walls. That just screams death, so I'll explore that last.

It's a treasure trove! This is the first time I've ever seen one! It's asking a wand of hasting to get in, though. I don't have one of those yet, but I'll DEFINITELY keep my eyes peeled. I guess I should play careful if I want to get in there. How rare are wands of hasting, by the way?

Well, I still feel pretty weak, so let's try the first couple floors of the Lair. As long as we don't find any death yaks it should be fine.

Lair 1: Been a while since I made it this far. Got chased into a corner by yaks, but they didn't taste very good. Can you milk yaks? Is that a thing? Also why is there a series of fountains here?

Oh well. Guess I'll take a bath. It's not a proper gargoyle bath; that is, standing on a church rooftop and getting rained on; but it'll do.

You know, the hippogriffs taste alright, but I'd like them as a mount instead. That's a thing I want to do. But then again, I'm probably pretty heavy. Oh well.

As I explore this floor, I realize the whole thing is one giant symmetrical pattern. I mean, it's not perfectly symmetrical, but it's pretty close. Looks very tribal. I appreciate this.

Okawaru gave me some poisoned javelins. That's. Nice I guess.

Had a fight with a basilisk trying to turn me to stone. That's like trying to turn a statue into rock.

OH WAIT.

Lair 2: I heard a snort, so there's a labyrinth here somewhere. I'm pretty sure I can take out a minotaur and there's always good treasure in those things. Do I... Yes, one magic mapping scroll, go!

A rime drake nearly killed me. I need some frost resistance. Besides the arctic penguin thief helmet.

Labyrinth: Patience and perseverance, and the treasure will be mine.

Found a redback spider. Don't those belong in the spider cave?

Also found a treasure pile behind translucent walls that I can't break. Mean.

I found the minotaur! I activated Heroism to make sure, but... It wasn't much of a fight. He died fast. Oh well. Let's see my rewards...

First, an amulet of regeneration. Excellent!

Then a ring of the stallion. It boosts several resistances, those being fire, poison, magic, and negative energy. But it reduces my strength a little and makes me weak to ice. So I guess I'll wear the ring of ice (Plus ice, minus fire) to balance it out?

The other was the ring of finality. It also resists poison (useless for me) but lets me see invisible and resists corrosion. VERY nice. Except... I needed to wear the ice ring. Or I'll be weak to ice...

Also gloves

A vampiric long sword of some kind. I'll leave it. I like flails and maces.

Also plate armour of magic resistance, which is excellent.

Should I stay here and try to find more treasure? That's probably a bad idea...

Lair 2: I've decided not to wear the stallion ring for now. I appreciate the good things, but I don't need weaknesses right now. I'll wear my positive energy ring for now, which replaces one part of it.

Sleeping needles? Oka, dude, I don't have a blowgun and why would I ever use a blowgun.

I found the entrance to the shoals, guarded by a single very tough snapping turtle. Turtle soup for me! But, I don't think I'm ready for the shoals. Maybe after I can fly. And am just generally better.

Oh hey, a ring of stealth! Now, all that clanking, heavy armor and grinding rocky body will be MARGINALLY LESS AUDIBLE

maybe if i get enough of these sheep i can retire and become a shepherd.

BLOODY JUMPING SPIDERS STAY STILL there. Okay, found the entrance to the spider caves. If I had to go somewhere, it'd be there. I can't be poisoned, so if I'm strong enough it's not threatening. But there are definite dangers there, still.

Lair 3: Let's try this first.

The hell, Nergalle? Why are you here? Fine, DIE

I was surrounded on all sides by her ghost orcs for quite some time trying to kill her and I got barely scratched. Why is she even a threat.

In other news, Okawaru gifted me... A sparkly wizard hat. He... He does know I'm a fighter, right? Well.. Apparently it's a plus one hat that lets me fly and makes me smarter. That's... I mean... Sigh. I'll be appreciative. At least he's not dropping me more needles.

I found a pair of boots. They've been gnawed on a little but they're serviceable. Also a slimy robe which I'm not even going to bother with. Screw robes, screw slime, and screw all the glitter dust on the thing because it looks like the glitter is squirming.

Found a ring of teleportation. Yet another escape option, good.

Lair 4: This is probably getting dangerous. Hydras and death yaks are possible now.

Or Maud. She had a potion of mutation that was ALL GOOD. Stronger, healthier, sharper vision. Lovely.

Why are there so many random doors in the Lair of Beasts? It's all animals down here. Almost makes you believe in that tale about the pigs. DEATH YAKS

I killed one. I'll.. try to stair dance the rest.

Okawaru was so impressed he gave me boots of running. That's pretty good I guess.

OH GOD ELEPHANTS HURT MORE THAN I THOUGHT

I learned two things. My teleport ring takes way too long to activate and elephants hurt but I can kill them.

14.1

Lair 5: I should not be down here. Well, at least I got to wrestle a polar bear.

A pack of blink frogs, an elephant, and a gryphon. Yeah, I got this.

I was ready for you this time, rime drake! Even though you did bring an elephant and a crocodile with you..

The giant steaming lake and the giant forest are both cool. The latter can be explored, hopefully without death.

HOLY METAL FIREBALLS A DIRE ELEPHANT WHAT EVEN

That was tough even with Heroism. But Okawaru gave me a brightly glowing broad axe. I want this to be awesome but I also don't want to have to start training axes...

The +1 axe of Haelyn's Fortitude. Chopping and magic resistance. How can I not use something marked with my name? I'll tell you why, the enchantment is low, I'd have to train axes, and my flail of protection raises my AC. I feel very conflicted and very cheated.

Apparently my fortitude sucks. Thanks, Oka.

The. The forest is filled with nothing but elephant corpses and skeletons. And no loot

I found an elephant graveyard. I am disturbed. I am leaving.

but i'm still going to chop up the corpses for food because im not stupid.

OH GOD SCROLL OF ACQUIREMENT. This can potentially give me something amazing.

...It gave me a sucky little buckler. Sure, +2 cold resist, but. I use SHIELDS. Not dinner plates.

Lair 6: I just took out three death yaks and didn't even get to half health. That feels pretty good.

I also found the entrance to the GODFORSAKEN SLIME PITS... With an altar of Jiyva in front of it.

Option. I could worship Jiyva until she loves me and gives me free passage through the place, and then try to make up with Okawaru. Hmm... Tempting. I'll have to wait though. Oka summons tough monsters on people who leave him.

I found the skeleton of an ogre. I didn't do this. ...who did?

Oh never mind there are skeletons everywhere and ABOUT A DOZEN ELEPHANTS AAAAA

Okawaru gave me ANOTHER wizard hat. It's not even that good. It's just a +2 hat. Whatever, it's better than the previous wizard hat.

KRKSKRSKKKSHKSHRKSKHSKRHSKRHSRS GAME CRASH MISSINGNO.EXE EFF.YOU

...wha? I'm at the start of Lair 6 again. Did time go backwards? I guess it did. Fine. I'll do it again.

The death yaks were much worse this time.

I decided to go the other way this time. This floor is basically a giant donut. Not bad though; not much challenge on this side of the donut.

Donuuuuuuts.

I TAKE IT BACK DEATH YAKS

I found a NecroNOMicon. Is this what they were guarding? I also found some special looking scale mail but I won't bother; no way it can beat plate.

Oh hi Nessos. I see you took the time to tame a crocodile, about five blink frogs, seven wolves, and you're a master archer centaur thing. This... Can't go badly at all, of course not.

"I'm half man, half horse, and all stone-cold KILLER!"

You're a lot of things, but intimidating is not one of them.

Anyway, he blinked around CONSTANTLY. So I made use of those poison javelins. I won... Eventually. At least that's done with.

Ah, now THAT feels good. Level fourteen; strong enough for my wings to get nice and big and fly me around. Excellent. The shoals could be much easier now, not having to wade through water.

A catoblepas! These things have a breath weapon that turns things to stone.

In other words, this is essentially a medic for gargoyles. And if you call right now, we'll throw in the cooking instructions! THOROUGHLY TENDERIZE.

Some death yaks joined in. So I'm just dancing around and watching them get stoned. See, that's why you don't eat random ferns, by the way.

Har har jokes.

Gah, that really hurt though. They got some hits in and the catoblepas hit hard too. Still, I won. I'm alive. That's what matters.

This must be the central vault. There was another dire elephant, even.

A beautiful treasure pile. Mostly food, and also a magical polearm I can't use, but also a very useful phantom mirror I can save for a later boss.

Augh torpor snail. I don't wanna be slooooow. I'm a fighter but I do need SOME brains.

HAR HAR JOKES.

...Anyway, that's the lair. Now then, spiders or shoals? I'm leaning towards spiders, honestly. I don't feel ready, but I think the shoals are worse. But maybe not? Maybe I'll try shoals... At least that way I don't have to face down orb spiders. On the other hand, I don't have too much magic resistance, which I may want...

Tsk. Well, we'll see.

Lair 2: Okay we're trying the Shoals. I'm basically going to the beach, right? I can relax.

Relaxing is good.

And I do have that Haelyn's Fortitude thing. So I can rel-AXE too~

And I was immediately forced back out by a turtle and some merfolk. O...kay.

Got them! And Okawaru gave me... A translucent demon whip. Those count for flails skills, so this could be truly amazing awesome.

It's plus five, raises my intelligence, and resists cold. AND IT CAUSES DRAINING.

Oka, dude. Thanks.

This does mean my AC goes down, since I'm not using the protection flail, so I'll have to be more careful. It says it's the whip of the seer, and I believe it. Because now I can foresee THE DEATHS OF MY ENEMIES.

And possibly myself but that's a given.

Shoals 1: I allowed some satyrs to helplessly pelt me with rocks, forcing them to come over with their sticks and die. Lovely~

ooooooh noooo the water elementals are trying to drown me whatever will i do i just cant figure out how to get awa- I'M A GARGOYLE DIE YOU BRAINLESS ENERGY DRINK.